Friday, January 30, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Complacency, Nonchalance, Indifference

die.

About two days ago, I decided to amp up the "nothing to worry about, really. It doesn't matter in the end"-o-meter up a notch, to see if it would free me of this 'bummed-ness' that was lurking around me for a few days before.
I have no idea what caused this bummedness. It felt like a mental ice pack was being pressed on the width of my back. Cold. Exhale-causing. Sucked.

So, anyway.

Yeah, amped up the 'relak la'. And it feeels goooood. I feel better about things. Happier!

BUT

as I was walking to Orchard mrt today, slowly, with the mp3 on, reading a book, I remembered the one instance where Wei Qing helped me 'see'.

Around Sec two, cf and I were in the habit of bullying WQ. This happened almost every day. I think he was sitting in front of us, or sth. We would poke him, have a laugh at his expense, etc etc. It was all in good fun.
Or so I thought. (DUN DUN DUUUN)
One day, WQ said he wanted to talk to me. We got away from CF and he complained about all the shit we were giving him, very irritating, Can You Please Stop, bla bla bla. I humored him by listening, then told him "do you really think that telling me all this will do anything?"
and he said "Yes. I do." and continued on.
WQ, who I had of course been used to seeing as the pushover type, gave my brain a slight jump at this. He really did believe that his speaking up would help him, manz
And it did. I got looser on him completely, and eventually CF stopped teasing so much, and then it became uncommon.


And this flashback served as a lesson to me that "It'll always work out in the end" doesn't quite cut it sometimes. That I shouldn't always be looking at the 'in the end', because not everyone is gonna be around in the 'in the end' to look on and say "Wow, yeah. I guess it wasn't worth the worrying after all."

Lesson: Relaaaaak, but relak in moderation.

PS: You see those screenshots below? The internet links? Yeah. They're not bookmarks. They're my inturnet tabz, yo. Don't be misunderstandin.


-Zan

Sunday, January 25, 2009

DumpaThump

Bored.


-Zan

Journey to the West

Immune system, rest.

Rules:
-Jog or run for one hour.
-Head West.
-Do not stop or walk.
-Stay on the coast.
-Yeah, walk back if you want. Whatever.

ANYWAYS.

Yeah, I can barely walk at the moment. Feet ache. Legs kind of ache. Recovering from tiredness.
I left a little after 1.30pm, considered my 'Start' at 1.35pm.
After an hour, I found myself inbetween 711 Clementi West Street and Tien Wah Press (pte) Limited.

This is le route. Woot woot.

And my walking speed is slightly more than half my joggin speed. Took me almost 2hrs to walk back.

Consumption upon return:
-A bit of grapefruit juice (Ceres)
-A bit of cranberry&kiwi juice (Ceres)
-Some grapes
-Water
-A medium/small ish banana
-Eating Nasi Lemak now
-Drinking Heaven & Earth Chrysanthemum Green Tea now


Weehee! Morning well spent.
.. exercise-wise.

Feet, rest.
Shins, rest.

Breathe.


-Zan

Friday, January 23, 2009

Random Report

Weird Engrish on Vietnamese coffee brochure thing.

MC Coffee helps to strongly excite the grow elopment of exchanging materials in the Body, arouse your hunger for much eating as well as reduce Cholesterol- fatlike materials, in order to make your body full of vitality.
Caffeine in any form can increase the grow development of exchanging materials in the Body.

et cetera et cetera,



-Zan

circlescirclescircles

I could listen to this all day.



-Zan

All right! Early morning run!

From sevenish to eight-fortyish.
[I realize I've never been victim to falling bird excrement. COULD TODAY BE MY LUCKY DAY?]
[TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO F-]
And it'd've (buh?It'd've?) been better if the horizon wasn't blocked by vegetation and buildings. Gah. Then can see sunset.

At least there were nifty-looking pink and reddish clouds, right?

Naw, it was a pretty clear morning sky.

Oh.

But at the bend of the hill, there was this great flowery smell that I would huff in every time I passed. It smelt great.

Wootz!

Yep.


..




..




Still early morning lah. Wan me type what thing
(HUNGRY MAAAAN)


-Zan

Thursday, January 22, 2009

To Magix.

For those old times.

Life is a Flower,
Smooth,
Mambo no. 5,
STICKIN' AROUND,
Ned's Newt.

(More nostalgia: Sweet Dreams [are made of these], Kiss The Rain, Spice girls, Lemon Tree)


-Zan

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.

Was looking up Zen proverbs on Wiki, and there's one that would go well with the post I made earlier:

When you reach the top, keep climbing.


Squee!


Edit at 1920hrs: Make that two. "If you do not get it from yourself, Where will you go for it?"


-Zan

I think I found my answer!

How's this:
All the praise or negative criticism that you get from people doesn't mean anything, it's the way you feel about yourself that matters. People can shower praises upon you every day, and you can still feel like you're not good enough. Conversely, people may criticise everything you do, but if you feel like a winner inside, then what do the words of the other people matter?

And I think feeling like you're on the top can be a little counter-productive, anyway. When you think you're at the top of the hill, you enjoy the scenery there. You don't look higher, aspire to fly. But at the bottom or middle of the hill, there's still a hill to climb. There are two directions you can go if you want to move anyplace, and chances are you're going to want to keep going up.

Hm.
But this analogy doesn't seem to include the people that are encouraged by praise to climb higher. I'll be.

Maybe it's a certain kind of praise that is counter-productive.

"You're perfect just the way you are!/You're the best, man!/You're amazing!/ I wish I were like you/ Nobody can outdo you!/You're at the top of your game!"
vs
"You almost got him, man!/Just one more lap, you can do it!/You could do greater things, span wider horizons!/You've got the potential!/You've done all this, who knows what'll come next for you!"

Yeah, you probably see the difference. Once puts the praise-ee at the top of the hill, while the other puts the praise-ee in the middle of the hill, with a journey to continue.

Ah, you might say. But what if the hill has no peak? What if it is a hill that rises forever, past the cosmos and the heavens? What if the praise is just to tell the climber that they have travelled well up their path, and that they should feel good about it?
But what's the use in that? (and hey, what if the top of the hill happens when they think it's happened? A hallucination caused by giving in to all that praise)
Not sure... encouragement? Yeah, encouragement. To encourage them to go further, not to convince them that where they are is good enough.
In the hopes that what?
... dunno.
<_<
>_>




(I'm thinking of doing a banner. I thiiink I know how.)



-Zan

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ah, yes.

Forgot to mention: Went and recoloured a bit of the blog. Woot!
I'd redesign the whole thing (borders, rectangles and all) if I knew how, but I like it the way it is at the moment.
Go recolouring!



-Zan

:o

Oh, come on Zan! Noo! Nooooooo!
Don't! Not again!
But yes.
Whyyyy??!
I finally found it lah. Quit your whining.
But, you'll still be here, right? You'll still feed me?
Can't quite say.
Dunno.
NOOOOOOO!!! YOU'LL NEVER RETURN! PLEASE! I couldn't stand it the last time!
But the last time I still fed you what.
Oh.
Yah.
Kay.





Thanks, Borders. And Van.



-Zan

Monday, January 12, 2009

omg o lvls omgwaudfbef

Hope everyone has what they need to go where they want.
(too close to yours for comfort, van. Forgib mes)
If not: You'll find a way somewhere. Just know that where you go, do your best. Push your limits. You're in a new place now, you're a blank slate. Make your new history there.

Oh, I got pix btw. They'll come.

-Zan

Sunday, January 11, 2009

FIVE HUNDRED?!?!/2/432TUI5DFJVBH

ASDJHAASJD500JBSFJHBSDF
SDJG500VDLF
SDF500JSDBFGJSDF
RESKNUF500TOAKLAKT


-Zan

Step Right Up!

Ladies and gentlemen...

... The Alphabet.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

*applause*


What? W-what was that?
That's ridiculous! I'm not avoiding anything...


-Zan

Friday, January 09, 2009

yo yo wassup

Tired. Will update in a few minutes.

Edit (11.21pm): Make that some other time.
gahrgenflarben
What I will say at the moment, though, is that it was a pretty lazetastic day. CF and I attribute this to the boringness of one or two jcs (won't name names) and the hot sun. And the walking around with accumulating amounts of goodiebags.

All for now.

Edit II (11.44am, 11th Jan):

OPEN HOUSE TWO: Innova Junior College.

-Made it there from Woodlands MRT and a bus away. (Accolades to Gothere! Everyone!) School gate right at the busstop.
-Entered, got goodie bags, said Hello to entrance people.
-Almost immediately after the entrance, the gym appears to our side, facing the open field and very open to the wind. If there was one at the time.
-Canteen. Next to field too, cool tables.
-Walk along the belt where people tending cca stalls. We were there 30 minutes into the event, so there weren't many visitors yet. Hence, stallpersons not that active. Luckily they were music (Band, CO) and drama ccas, and I wouldn't have joined anyway. Being part of the first few, photography club members took the opportunity to take many pictures. Of us walking up the stairs.
-End of belt. Cheerleading going on beside the foyer (other entrance). We go to library.
-Not much at library.
-Oh yeah.
-Got Japanese Cultural Society. Woot.
-Top floor of library, we are shown the media ccas. Not bad la.
-Leaving the library, ODAC members are there to pull us to their booth. We were probably their first.
-Booth is in hall, lots of sports ccas there. ODAC members tell us how exciting, fun, enjoyable their cca is. We tell them not to worry, and to use us as 'practice' because we're just the first. We tell them they have to describe the cca without using 'exciting' or 'fun'.
-Failz
-Walk around hall, observe, observe.
-Go to gym. Great machines, nice and 'smooth' feeling. Instead of using cords for the pulley system in the machines, they use flat belts. Maybe that's why. Dunno.
-Halfway through gymming, girl says hi. Tells us to go to the canoeing booth. Skeptical, we ask her if all they're going to tell us is the same as ODAC. "No, it's not all fun." "It's hard, it's tough, but it's worth it" she says.
-Oooo. Good pitch.
-We say okay, she gives us the little canoeing paper. Leaves.
-...
-I really wish we didn't forget to go. Gah!
-Pull ups.
-Walking on edge of a turned-off treadmill. Fall off a few times.
-Go to Innov8 to rest for a while. It's sort've their cafe. Or relaxy place.
-We find out there's a shuttle bus to the other schools. omgwtflol.
-We catch the bus to our next intended destination, YJC.

OPEN HOUSE THREE: Yishun Junior College.

-On the bus there, cf says Xue Er may guide us around if we can find her. She's an ex-Outramian, cf knows her more than me.
-We get there, building not as awesome as ijc, but not bad. IJ is new anyway.
-Guided by guy from basketball. He's not bad. We get our bags and he says he does know XE
-Brings us to basketball booth. She's there, not too willing to bring us around but she points us to our next destination. Eventually these two students join us to show us around.
-Science blocks!
-Embarrassing moment where we sit in for a Bio class (the students liked bio.) and were distracting one or two students in the back. Tried to sign them to look at their teacher, but in vain.
-Went out, Physics next!
-There was a room where the students set up practical demonstrations to show.
-Interesting. I got to see something that I'd only read about, and wanted to see in reality.
-I believe math was next.
-We came in later than the little session started, and this man was describing how to use the new graphic calculator.
-After this there were magic tricks involving math principles. These were to interest us and show us that math is NOT BORING.
-Bleh.
-After the whole thing we asked a teacher qns. She showed us stuff. Cool.
-Sat and watched a bit of fencing practice, I believe?
-Wanted to leave. Didn't know what to do liao. Went to buses, next one to our next school leaving in 30mins.
-Hm.
-Aha.
-We saw the archery thing finally happening in the field a little far away.
-We went quickly.
-Stalling.
-Stalling.
-Finally got to shoot. Just 2 arrows though. We had to leave in like 2mins.
-Missed both. At least I got to use the bow.
-Dash back to the bus.
-Last two people before bus left. Woo.

OPEN HOUSE FOUR: Anderson Junior College.
Wait lah, I'll update in an hour.

-Zan

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Addedum. Yah, don't feel like editing the last one. long title wootz0rx

And I'm 17!

I'm past mid-teenager years!
NOOOO

I'm not 15 anymore?!

I'm 18 this year?!

But that's an NS away from 20s!

exclamation mark!

Must make most of it ar... boy...
!



-Zan!

Bedthought From Wed Night.

This is the first classless January I've had in 11 years. (Maybe 13, but I can't remember which month I started kindergarten.)

Must make most of it, ar... boy...



-Zan

lolololol

If Man and Woman were races, we would all be half-man half-woman.



..




lololololol


-Zan

Strike One!

Gothere how could you!
at least I got there, but you weren't being specific enough.
Luckily, the nice (makeup-masked) lady in the LRT provision shop nearby knew the way to Pioneer JC.
"You can go to Teck Whye."
"which busstop do I take to go there? Bus number?"
"Oh, there's a bus interchange just behind here, just take 975."

Big thankers!

..

I guess Gothere gets some credit for putting me in the right area.
Thanks, man.

So anyway.
Open House one: Pioneer JC.
Not bad. I came just in time for performances (mass dance, cheerleading), but tagged along one of the tours.
Benedict/Sebastian's cousin was on that tour. Leading it! Small world.
Country, rather.

And I got to ask students about:
Physics, Project Work
And teachers about:
Physics, Literature, General Paper, Economics

End open house report.


I made my way back with my very first LRT ride from Pheonix to Chua Chu Kang. Finally in the mrt system.
Then went home.
Woot. z.

Home, took vic's stuff, went to SRJC, collected her edusave cheque, back home.
I took the wrong train the way back, so ended up going from Kovan to Punggol.
Which has nice looking benches. That have armrests! Too bad they're a bit slanty, though. Have to sit upright in order to not slowly slip down.
Sengkang looked like it had the best seats. Armrests in every section, and it bends in so you'd stay in rather than out.
I'll try em one day.

Big trip through the NEL from Punggol to Harbourfront, but the trip fortunately gave me enough time to complete 52: The Companion.

Here comes the 8th.
Ahoy.



-Zan

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The 'ol factory

Flowers, and now some new baby smell? I mean, not that I don't love it, but what's going on nose? (Keep it up, though. It's pretty awesome.)


-Zan

liek omgwtfbbq

cf adds: 'SO WHAT SCHOOL ARE YOU CHOOSING' to the 5000 peoples' questions
























Icken-fay


-Zan

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Am I closer to the captain?

Eric Skywalker

Big translucent tadpole things with skeletons
with two, more opaque, froggish skeletons trying to grow
but one being blocked by the tadpole skeleton

in a ziplockish bag

Heck if I know


-Zan

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Of Tennisballs, Worms and Foreheads

Got my haircut! For the new year, of course.

On the way there, this popped into my head:

The animal that never falls: Earthworm.

Mm.
Oh, and the flash of sunlight from someone's shades made me want to draw a person with smoke seeping from their eyes really badly.
Mm.
Then I made it to the barber, after trying my best not to sweat in my shirt.
Waited for other patrons.
Done.
I sat down.
"Number one?" He said, smiling.
"Okay!" I said, smiling.
..
"You sure? Number one?" He said, smiling.
"mm..." sensing his doubt, I hmmed.
"Okay, number two first, then I see if I want 1."
..
"Number two ah... okay, I do 3 first, then you tell me..."

And so it commenced.

Seconds later, I opened my eyes and saw the front part of my head 'number 3'ed.
"Shorter." I said. Smiling.

And so it began, for real.
Tadaa. Finish.


On the way back, this popped into my head:

Is a really big forehead called a fivehead? And does the name change with each varying degree of frontal-upper-head length? eg. sixhead, sevenhead, eighthead...

I returned home. Of course mom goes "So shooort!". Smiling.

k done

-Zan

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Ho ho ho.



pwnizzles your shizzle right there.

(Not mine, by the way. xkcd's.)


-Zan

2009

Resolutions time!
What can we cook up this year...

1. Consume nothing but water for 4 days. In January.
2. Obtain at least two As somewhere. Anywhere.


Augh, terrible kink in the right side of ma neck.
Errrgh


3. Fluid ambidextrous writing.
4. Draw good circles and squares with left hand.

Oh, and I shaved too! Within the first hours of the new year. woot
Just my face, though. I doubt the barber's open today.

5. (and this is from resolutions 2007..) To print out a Multiplication table to
the 100s, and an Exponentiation table to
the 12s.

New Years party. Wongs, Mahafy(however it's spelt)s, Kongs, Kongfriendses
First thing I did in 2009: sat on chair on Marang Road roof, popping crackerpopper things, saying Happy New Year.
Wootz0rx.

6. More than 1000 in the bank by March. Need to save, man.

Last books borrowed from library in 2008.
So says the receipt:

1. 52. Volume one
2. 52. volume two
3. Spider-Man and the Black Cat: the evil that men
(... do. I think. Lazy to check. I suppose the title was too long, it cut off from here. Tiny paper receipt.)
4. Kingdom come
5. 52. Volume three

=====================
You have outstanding library fines/fees of $2.10
Please pay at Transaction Kiosk/e-Kiosk, Thank yo
u
=====================


All comics. Bla.

4.48pm: Chloe's found the blog. Awesome.



-Zan