Thought Bubble

Used to it. But why now?

2011-05-15T17:38:00.003+08:00

Everything. Like throwing myself into the sea.

dang this is emo

-Zan

A Summary. An Exaggeration. But not too far off.

2011-03-26T10:56:00.004+08:00

Pumping pumping pumping gettired pumping pumping pumping gettired pumping pumping pumping eat SWIMMING gettired eat randomtiringthingprobablyresultantinpumping sleep.

-Zan

So You Did Good, Boy

2011-03-07T00:24:00.008+08:00

How can you screw things up now?

-Forget to apply while in NS
-Do the easiest thing to do regarding Uni application
-Lose A level, O level documents
-Obtaining an irreparable injury
-Pick a job I don't want
-Pick the wrong major for the job I want
-Mess up the interview
-Not send all the required documents
-Stop thinking
-Not doodle
-Let music cloud my head of its thoughts at every living moment
-Identify potential to do better, and fail to do so
-Not use full-stops
-

-Zan

MEANWHILE

2011-02-08T22:15:00.002+08:00

Who would believe you were a beauty indeed
When the days get shorter and the nights get long
Lie awake when the rain comes
Nobody will know
when you're old
when you're old
nobody will know

No crypticism or hidden messages, I just really like the way these lyrics sound together in that song.

-Zan

Little Things: SG and Canada's differences.

2011-02-04T09:58:00.008+08:00

Specifically, Cedar (Nanaimo) and Victoria, BC.
More specifically, In the winter season.

It's frickin cold outside (I've been there in Summer, too.)
The "green man" traffic light is white.
To be smiled at by strangers, and to smile back, is commonplace and almost expected.
"How's it going"and "Have a good one" are more common.
The sun is down by about 4.30pm.
At 10pm, the city is almost barren. Even in the pubs.
I can't believe that the DASANI BOTTLED WATER is comparable in price to the soft drinks here!
Food and drinks are expensive. Drinks from vending machines are often about $1.75 or more. In Canadian dollars.
You are more likely to be given the right of way on roads.
Cars stop really far from the zebra crossing to let you cross.
You can U-turn anywhere.
More visible homeless people.
Cars are, on average, more crappy looking.
Radio there is AAWEEESOOMMMMEEE.
Where one would find varieties of condoms near the cash register in a Singaporean mart, varieties of gum would be found in a Canadian one.
Food portions are HUGE in restaurants. In many cases, this justifies the high pricing.
When it rains, the rain is seldom a big shower. It is a little over a drizzle in intensity. It is also very annoying.
Seeing a person wearing only a t-shirt outdoors is remarkable.
Nobody wears slippers.
THE AIR. The air smells so fresh!
When you walk through a park, you step not on road, nor on concrete. You tread on the dirt, the mud and fallen leaves.
In Canada, you tip.

That's all I can mentally conjure now. I'll probably update this every time another difference comes to mind.

UPDATE: How could I forget to mention you drive on opposite sides there? In Canada, the driver seat is left, and on the roads you drive on the right lane.

-Zan

Back!

2011-02-03T16:33:00.006+08:00

With more hair than necessary.

Summaries ahoy! But not just yet.

The transition in climate from winter-Canada to eternal-summer-Singapore has been smooth. My skin certainly agrees with the humidity. Thankfully there's been no heat shock.

I think it's interesting that, both times my plane touched down, I entered the country on a particular New Year's day. I reached Canada on the first of January and reached Singapore on the third of February (Chinese New year).

Things have changed in Marang Road. Leave for a month, and Home is no longer Home. The house got painted, Mount Faber's got parts of it blocked off for renovation (went jogging today) , and worst of all, Claire and Winnie thought it would be nice to rearrange everything in the house I own. This was cause for much anger. I'm not going to unleash it on Claire, she has enough to stress about given the schoolwork. She just needs to know why the rearranging without my supervision, direction or permission frustrates me incredibly. She must understand. That's all I need.

Looking out the balcony reminds me that trees are gone and the ground is dry and naked. It's nice to see that the grass is returning. It's wonderful to see four banana trees beginning to sprout in place of the two large stumps.

I was thinking about change during the jog. I decided that mongering about it was a futile pursuit, given that I would never escape the reality that even the things closest to me (be they people, objects, concepts, etc.) would inevitably be different in the times to come. This house I've lived in all my life could be rubble tomorrow. For about the next two years of my life, I will never see my hair grow longer than an inch or two. Trees I have been familiar with since birth may fall or be removed eventually. Even I may look through these eyes in a completely different way. There will be times where my mind is buzzing with thought and imagination, and times of dull stagnancy. I am powerless against the shifts.

What if I don't like that?

I decided that I had two options.

1) Mentally set something that would be held constant to me no matter what happened, and comfort myself with it every time a significant change occurred.

2) Embrace change.

Yea, having all my stuff rearranged hit me pretty deep.

Maybe I'm petty.

Na, don't think so.

Happy rabbit CNY!

-Zan

2=0+1+1!

2010-12-31T19:11:00.004+08:00

Oh yah, resolutions!

I'll see what I can steal from my holiday resolutions first.
-Hold breath to inhuman limits (I did try, but progress has been slow. A recent breakthrough involved imagining myself as some creature that didn't need to breathe air. Results were very successful. Really a mind over matter thing, it seems.)
-Learn knots (Indispensable for the navy, says the father)
-Learn languages
-Polyphasic sleep (Could be especially useful for NS. The initial sleep deprivation stages, that is.)

Now to think of newbies.
Oh, wait. I can still steal from last year's.

3: Start running regularly again.
7: Read a German book with full comprehension.
8: Read a Mandarin book beyond the primary 3 level with full comprehension.

Kay NOW to conjure n00bs.
Ahem.

-Befriend at least two students from Vic's school. Or the area.
-Write a short story. Bonus pride points if it's a comic.
-Master the drawing of no less than three different animal species.
-Keep a journal that AT LEAST lasts 30 consecutive days. Please.
-Survive NDU's "Hell week".
-Work for money during February.
-If NS permits, go vegetarian for at least a month.
-get grail
-Do best to demolish what politics may arise in my NS experience.
-Learn coin tricks. Minimum of 4.
-Not get my blog deleted.

-Zan

Christmas Conceptions

2010-12-26T19:57:00.009+08:00

I sat in the pews at ORPC for their Christmas service, family-tradition dictate, and contemplated the presence of those without pew-seats, standing/sitting in the back. And how they could be cured of their predicament.
Observation told me that only a small fraction of the huge indoor space was being used for the audience - the floor. Gravity-dictate. Unused space existed! Also, there was a lot of empty space in the volume of air above us that could have been used for audience-spaces.

Trying to fix the latter cause (of the space-waste problem) first, I imagined a second floor above the audience, where more seats could be filled. The problem with this hypothetical, of course, was that members further back on the ground level would be obstructed by the new 'ceiling' formed by the second floor.
This could be rectified by lifting the second floor higher, but that would cost the top-floor audience their proper view of the stage. This wasn't good enough. I wanted a solution with no re-allocated costs to the audience.
I imagined antigravity, to simplify things. People could just float around anywhere to view the service at the spatial location of their choosing. Still, in this case, there would inevitably be some people blocking others as they hovered in front of them. Bah!
How would I fix that?
I came to the conclusion that resolving the wastage of space by using the free space within the volume of the room would only be simple if there was some way to render people transparent. Then, people could more efficiently utilise the room as an audience and wouldn't have their view blocked.

But I didn't want to delve into that problem (making people temporarily transparent). So instead I battled with the former cause of the problem - unused surfaces. If other surfaces could be filled, it would cause benefit by adding more audience seats without costing the existing audience their view of the stage (in this case, the choir).

The problem was like a cube. One interior side was being used for the choir, and another side - the bottom - was being used for the audience. If we could fill the other sides with audience, the problem would be greatly lessened.

click to zoom in, by the way.
Now that I think of it, an antigravity-based solution isn't really necessary.. but whatever. I'll continue.
SO.
What popped into mind was that the church hall could instead be a cylindrical shape in a simulated symmetrical gravity. The great cylinder-church would spin to simulate gravity towards the inner surface of the tube. Like a-this:

Way more surface-efficient!
But one last problem. This way, there would be people seeing the choir upside down. To solve this, the choir would have to be organised a different way - a circular arrangement, as opposed to the usual horizontal columns. Their song would resonate through the tube in a circular symmetry.

Then I extrapolated a bit.
Say this structure of building was commonly used in a world where humans habitated space (i.e. in antigravity, woop). for buildings where a large audience was needed in front of a common "message-giver" (a choir, a musical band, a presentation, a talk, etc.) . There would exist a new problem: Text. For all of the people in the circularly-arranged audience to read the same text without tilting their heads at some angle to the side, lots of copies of that same text would have to be made, and arranged in a circle.

Whether this is done with screens or print, the same problem arises: It's pretty costly, especially if all you want to say is one letter (in the case of the illustration, ''A''). The messagers aren't getting much bang for their buck.
Then I thought: A new text/language that could be developed to suit this circular style of presenting a message. One that could be read from all angles of reading. It would have to be read vertically, for all spectators can see the text's "radius", but text lying on the circumference could only be read partially. And would have to scroll I guess. So.. example!

Liddat. Of course a more fluid text, easier to write in a circle, than mine would be developed.
I guess the circle language would have its limitations. The more letters, the more circles, and each letter would have to cover subsequently larger perimeters. So it's limited to shorter texts I suppose.
It was a cool idea in my head though. ._.

Then the thoughts ended there, and I continued paying attention. Woo! But I thought the circular text thing was a pretty neat idea. Had to save it here lest it be lost forever.

Had to get the tablet plugged up to the office to make some of this clear, would've been too confusing otherwise. FinallyI'm touching dearest tablet after SO LONG. WOOOOO

-Zan

What Goes Up...

2010-12-17T00:09:00.002+08:00

:|

-Zan

Something's up.

2010-12-11T21:54:00.005+08:00

I've been feeling pretty darn awesome since around 6pm yesterday. Some sense of calm or peace or coolness has bud in me. Perhaps I have fully internalized the fact that the A levels are over - all the way down to the deepest psychological bone.
maybe I just jinxed it. lollerskates.

And for some reason I was being ridiculously jittery in bed last night, thinking about going to the library today. The excitement, the anticipation. The absolute bliss of getting a pile of books, sitting down and reading them without feeling pressured to read something relevant to school syllabi, without being pressured to study, using the library as a library should be used.

So my bag got really fat today; they let us borrow twice as many books now, since it's December.

Something weird happened during the walk up the hill home.
Somewhere ahead, I heard a faint wailing of a man's voice - "..enn"
I looked up. Must have come from the neighbours' house, they had people over this afternoon. The party's probably still on, or something. Look down. Walk.
"... enn"
Look up again. Walk.
"..N"
(it sounded like 'gwenn' or 'whenn' or something. some word ending with the syllable made when you say the letter N. and the voice sounded like it was calling from far away.)

Look up, catch a shadow to my right with my peripheral vision. It's the cat, standing there in the dark. Looking at me. I look at her. She's not usually this far down the road/hill.
I walk on.
I don't hear the voice any more for the rest of the walk.
Creepy.

-Zan

Paisley Bowtie, and an Outstretched Hand to the Whipping Post

2010-12-10T14:59:00.005+08:00

Wake up.
Wake up.
See dead, dry, crackled up gecko hanging from its tail off the side of the upper bed bunk. Looking at me with hollowed eyes.
Grab book beside pillow, get to the living room. It's noon.
"It's alive!" Hi Daddy.
Read.
Read.
Eat fruit.
Eat lunch.
Computer.
Freaks & Geeks on Youtube.
Now.

Prom was pretty fun! Glad it didn't just end up being all "I'm only here to eat and take pictures"-ish. At least not for the bunch of us. Gotta be a good audience, you know? (I love my suit, though. Suits. Suuuuit.)
Post-prom was okay. Lively, yes, but I wouldn't give someone that experience if I were trying to convince him how fun clubbing was. My first time. And it was PACKED. Couldn't move anywhere without smashing oneself through the tight, fluctuating corridors between bodies that appeared once in a while.
But okay lah. Okay. Would go again, if only to seek a better time. Clubbing 'properly', har har har.

Gotta work on the cardio for the next judo training. I shan't let the old asthma get the better of me during the next uchikomi. SwimrunrunswimssuriwrLIBRARYrunsmwiunLIBRARYYYY

Oh, and presents. Gotta beat Claire. HOO HAH.

-Zan

2010-12-02T13:34:00.003+08:00

ok list things to do.

-Clear the house of scattered papers and such
-Clear the desktop of MCQ files/Notes in pdf/SCHOOL STUFF
-Work on (and finish) that header.
-Work out!
-SUIT UP.
-Get NS phone
-Draw a whole buncha shit
-Prom!
-Post-prom!
-Do nothing!
-0JERO9UXMS2DCPS7OOS!
-Besuch des Vaterlandes
-Vegetate before Youtube
-Vegetate before Reddit
-Vegetate in various public libraries
-Behold in wonderment the hundreds of free tables at library study corners (lookingatyoubugis)
-Hold breath to inhuman limits
-Learn knots
-Learn languages yo
-Relearn judo!
-Get Xmas presents
-Beat Claire at getting Xmas presents
-ENJOY MUSIC
-Have a whack at polyphasic sleep again? Maybe?
-Convince myself that the Pacman moleskines aren't worth it!
-not finish this list!

-Zan

Change-o Colours

2010-11-22T18:54:00.002+08:00

-Zan

A significant moment today.

2010-11-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

I probably shouldn't share potty tales, but eh.
Today was the first time in almost EVER that the autoflush toilet sensor actually worked well for me!
Most of the time it flushes before I'm done. This is annoying. Very annoying.
This time it waited until I put my belt back on. Booyah.
Jurong east 4th floor toilet, you are the shit.
Brownie points for you.
Chocolate, of course.

Time to dump. Phone notes:

"Personal hell"

"unshatterable glass cups and stuff."
Note: Unshatterable. As in, hit the ground and go 'clunk'. Or 'clang'. Or 'not-smash'. As if it were metal, only with a see-through, glass-like appearance.
Or maybe if they were shatterable, but the shattering would appear as some sort of design on the cup/bowl/whatever. Like spider-webbish. Like broken windshield glass, only not broken.

"Remember hashbrowns?"
It's been so long.

"Spatial needs"
Oh, lol, sounds like 'special needs'. hurhurhur punny

"Mirrors that record and replay."
Came to mind. No doubt they've appeared in some sci-fi flick or story somewhere. But in years to come, if nobody's gonna make em, I'm going to have to try.

"14 march"
Blub blub blub

"highlighter 'sheets', translucent phosphorous rectangles shaped in various sizes that you could stick on longer sections of text"
Eh. If anyone wants to highlight.. paragraphs, I guess.

"Rapidly self-drying tissue. You could use the same one forever!"
Probably should be self-cleaning, too. Nanobot disinfectant steamers embedded within the tissue fabric.

"I wonder if the norm for the writing tool - a small, thin, stick-shaped solid - will ever evolve. Or if it can, at all. It probably can."
I mean, what if holding a little stick in your hand and gliding or scratching it against a surface was never the most efficicent, comfortable, intuitive way to write? Why did we not develop finger-painting on cave walls instead? Like finger-writing gloves with mini cartridges in each of the 'writing' fingers (probably all of them except the ringfinger and pinkie). Or something else?

k thassit

back to studying two very polar-opposittey subjects.

-Zan

8/23 Days

2010-11-07T20:22:00.003+08:00

Fourteen seperate papers.
Fourteen seperate one-to-three-hour moments
to show off. to do it right. to peak.
the best you'll ever need to be. ever. university and work doesn't exist to you yet.
grab them. grab for the good one.

GP1,GP2,BIO2
MATH1
MATH2, CLB1, CLB2
PHYS2, CLB3
ECON1
PHYS3, ECON2
PHYS1
BIO1

-Zan

Pretend I posted this on Saturday, 18 September, 2010.

2010-09-20T15:03:00.004+08:00

Grand crusty opening! After almost 19 years, the shell comes to light and is subsequently partially broken into a million yellow bits. Things become clearer. More distinct. A world unearthed. Perspectives shifted.
Too bad it's not over, though. Too bad the door will probably remain that way, never renovated.

(Yes it's cryptic. You're not supposed to get it. This post is for me. I need to mark the day for its personal significance. Weehee.)

side-idea-I-thought-of-in-mrt: Imagine if everyone had lasers, like the ones on gun scopes, in their eyes. You could see exactly which direction each eye was 'pointed' at. A ride in the mrt would look like some laser-guarded Mission-Impossible room or something.

-Zan

Япония

2010-08-23T23:16:00.004+08:00

Looking at the old meiji-era photographs, I walk around and feel how everything around me will eventually become the old stuff. and then the present, yesterday's tomorrow, becomes my imagination's past.The feeling is so strong I don't even have to picture being in a future to make everything around me 'feel' old. Especially the architecture. Even in the mrt.

Mmmmmmmm. Pleasant morning.

l i k e o h m a i g o o d ness.
Stupid book, made me look.
Search, rather.

-Zan

Ha! Caught you, July.

2010-07-31T22:43:00.002+08:00

Time to dump my handphone notes again. I didn't know I had only a limited number I could keep. Dang. Here goes.

"Resolution for the teleporting mechanism of superheroes:
Problem - when they teleport, do they 'fuse' with the atmospheric molecules that were there?
Solution - they simply switch places with the molecules that were there."

"Advantages of walking behind couples in crowds sometimes"
I guess I already elaborated on this in a June post, but didn't specifically state couples. I guess their added benefit to the 'tagger' is that they push aside more people - hence clearing the way - when they decide to walk directly beside each other at every point in their walking.

"peoplecount"
Not a clue.

"Danny yung. Tian tian shang."
I wanted to find more about that artist who did these comic tiles in PageOne (Vivo). The framed, square-ish comics they have displayed around a particular section.

"If only money were time."

-description of a dream-

"Apex = ahpeks."

"Is it considered good luck to take an opened umbrella indoors and close it?"

"I wonder if dried papaya or dried watermelon exist."
Apparently both do.

"7.7.10, 3.20pm
random urge to burst a balloon underwater."
I bet it'd look really cool.

"From my dream: the blue bag. It is zip-lock. It is underground. It contains everything you've decided you actually need, and when the rest of your life comes crumbling to the ashes, you pull it through all the shit and the rubble and it. is. there. for. you."
I might have been subconsciously inspired by the end of the book 1984. That's what this reminded me of.

-Zan

I FEEL SO ALIVE.

2010-06-26T19:41:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

-ME

Weak in the Knees

2010-06-10T00:55:00.005+08:00

What're you lookin' at, frog? What do you want? What do you mean?

I shall do this post in chunks.. screw you, coherence and flow.

Was having an interesting time taking a visual approach to studying. Bio and Econs, specifically. It's.. closing my eyes and seeing the points in my notes flow together as a visual story (bio) or closing my eyes and starting with a problem in my head from absolute scratch, and progressing with the answer from there (econs). And I think this visually thinkingy thingy works very well for me. WOO.
Then I went on applying it to other weird headproblems. Like how I would defeat myself in a battle of two other clones with identical relative starting points. Cool stuffzorxz. Really. Really!

And the day before, I noticed something odd in the mrt. I was walking from Outram's purple line to the green line at about 8:30am in the morning when I realised all I could hear around me was the stamping, the consistent marching, of feet. Nobody was talking. The fact that it was very, very crowded made it odder. I realise I hadn't consciously noticed the ambient verbal rambling of the crowd until that morning. Heh.

Third chunk: One of the best places to be alone in is a club washroom. With grooming tools by a huge mirror. And fantastic shower facilities. And a sauna. Oh yes.

Fourth: I have increasingly found usefulness in the practice of 'tagging' onto people publically. Usefulness, particularly, in getting oneself through crowds with ease.

For instance, you are in a crowded mrt cab. You are leaning on one door, and your stop comes. The door on the other side opens. You need to get through. Normally, one would have to do the uncomfortable "excuse me" routine several times as one passes through the idle, rigid bodies, rushing with the fear that the door will soon close.

However! If you are lucky and have someone beside/around you who must go through the same problem, you may simply 'tag' onto them. This means as they push through the people to get to the door, simply follow directly behind them in the temporary space they have made by getting through people.This way you can depend completely on the other person to get you through without doing the 'excuse-me's.

(If the person you've tagged happens to be very slow, or the crowd is particularly thick, and so you two don't make it to the door on time, at least you are in it together ey?)
This also works wonderfully when one is moving through a large crowd in, say, a shopping aisle in Bangkok..

Fifth: There should be some sort of sport where you can use all manner of hand and foot techniques (from soccer, basketball, handball, etc.) to get the ball to the other team's net. This game would be called "Ball".

First, we would all be in a large, empty expanse. We would be sitting on a chair each, and a table, facing each other to form a perfect equilateral triangle. Because we're all me, anything I do would be exactly what the other two would do. They'd be thinking the same thoughts, working out this problem too. The only way to get out of our identical mindpath would be to screw it up with the forces of randomness. So I'd throw something in the centre of the 'triangle', knowing they would do the same. I (and therefore we) decide that the first person to be targeted would be the one who had the thrown objects located closer to them after the collision. So I would go about beating him first, before setting myself on the other clone. One would eventually win, despite identical physical ability, as there is bound to be a difference in our responses due to different starting positions in the fight. Especially given close contact.
Of course, I would have to anticipate what I would do were it myself who ended up the 'loser' in the throw-things-to-the-centre gamble. I would immediately dash in the backwards direction and continue running. As the other two would have started out behind me, there will eventually come a point where they have just enough energy to travel the distance between me and them, and I can stay still to wait for them to do so. I use this equal amount of energy to recuperate, while they have expended it in their last steps.
Then, having thought of that, I would need to find a counter-measure. Because I would want to chase someone till my death. So I guess my starting move towards the first clone victim would be to throw the furniture I have at them. yay for long range weaponry, I guess.
And then I would have to think of a counter for that! And the list would go on!
Crap.
Maybe I would end up just.. chionging into the fight of three.

-Zan

Farewell, Gentle Way.

2010-05-20T21:45:00.002+08:00

Time for the true test. They will either remove "南初柔道 IPPON!" from their nicnames, or leave them there forever.

I NEED TO EXPLORE THIS:

After finishing the warm part of my shower, I turn the heat off and spray the water at my feet. I look at the showerhead with reluctance.
I turn up the cold water to a higher force, and suddenly my fears subside. I spray an icy cold blast to my chest and back, and it feels fine.

Yes. I need to explore 'Just zam'.
That's all. Been a while.

-Zan

Why I Support Manchester United: An Anecdote.

2010-05-03T21:22:00.003+08:00

Long ago, when I was still of a single-digit age, there came the day when my elder sister introduced me to paper soccer.

"First, we draw the field on the paper. Then this is your starting point. Then you flick your pencil like this -"

she pressed the lead end of the pencil down onto the paper, one finger on the rubberised end. Shifting this one-finger grip slightly, the pencil flicked forward, leaving a tapered line on the paper 'field'.

" - and we play until one person reaches the other person's goal."

"okay!"

"kay lets start. Wait, must choose our teams first. Who you want to be?"

"er, don't know.."

"kay uh.. you be Man U. I choose Liverpool"

"but I want liverpool!"

"Cannot! I already choose. I always choose liverpool when I play one"

And so, from then on, I always played that game as Manchester United. And this is why I am biased, slightly, towards Man Utd supporters.

red devils go

-Zan

As You Sit,

2010-05-03T20:22:00.003+08:00

Things are happening.

What is happening? [PHYSICS, BIO, GP,]
How is it happening? [PHYSICS, BIO, ECONS]
Why is it happening? [GP, ECONS]
What if I don't care? [MATH]

And now to be hellboy.

-Zan

Coraggio

2010-04-09T18:57:00.004+08:00

Interesting marketing concept I thought of. Probably not new.

Say a shopkeeper wishes for a certain group of products to be sold (e.g. coke cans, bananas and toilet paper. A potent mix).
He/she sets up an attractive offer - a free gift for every X dollars spent on goods. No more, no less.
To get you buying those products, he/she does this: altering all prices of goods sold in the store such that no (or very few) combinations of things purchased total up in cost to exactly X.
So that, in order to get that free gift, the only thing you can do to do so is to buy that combination of goods that he/she wants you to buy.

And these are the assumptions/conditions:
-The gift must be desirable to some extent (no tissue paper, thanks).
-The combination of goods in question must be obvious to the consumers. i.e. it must not be difficult to see that they add up perfectly to make X.
+The shop may have few other goods in the shop, to facilitate this.
+The shop may present the prices of the predetermined goods very prominently.
+The shop may be small in size.

-Zan

Doppelmadhyastha. And limits.

2010-04-07T22:19:00.003+08:00

Trips on the NEL night train beg me to theorise this. Every caucasian/European face has a twin somewhere in India.
That is all.

The finish line stares you directly in the face.
You are going to die. Maybe it is far. Even so, it is present. Unless.
An empty road lies before you.
What do you do?

-Zan

Frangipani

2010-04-02T00:06:00.003+08:00

The forest flowers sigh an olfactory swan song. I sigh back.
It's time I blogged again. Goodness, I skipped May!
I guess I'll type about the recent blood donation-ing.

Entered the hall, saw a couple of familiar judo faces, filled in my form. Went to get screened by the doctor, followed by a blood check (for haemoglobin count. And maybe disease. :-o). Sat down with JK, then LY, in the waiting line.
My turn. Took the left-hand bench and reclined. A little more waiting before a nurse comes over to give me a wee injection in my arm. A little pinch.
A little more waiting, and she's back. She prepares the big one. I make it a point not to look away while she's inserting it. I'll seldom get the chance to do so anyway. So I look. By now the anasthetic injection appears to have kicked in; the needle doesn't bring a sensation. But once it's in, I feel very aware of the piece of metal embedded within my left arm. I make it a point not to move me left arm or hand. At all. And so it lays dead still. Before I realise what's happening, the tube is already dark red and the bag fills up. The tube to the bag feels warm along my arm. Nice!
I recline. I read the book. I look at stuff. I answer the phone. I smile at JK's taunts. Another wait.
I feel discomfort. Something feels odd. Like my skin is going 'ooowwwWWW' slowly. I don't consider the possibility that the anasthetic wasn't that powerful. Instead I notice that the bag looks really full, and notice that no nurses notice that the bag looks full. So I fret a little. Is there some kind of backflow going on or something? What's happening? Somebody, COME HERE AND LOOK. I continue silently fretting.
The blood-checking nurse points at me while talking to another nurse. This other nurse comes by. At this point I feel very giddy. Very weak, very numb. The needle comes out painlessly, but I feel no comfort. I musta looked horrid, because the nurse set my bench down and propped my legs up. "A bit giddy is it?" "Ya a bit."
I lay there, ears numb and vision whitened (for some reason) (with the edges blurred) while I sweat. I feel the nurse wrap up my arm. I lay there to rest.
I feel better! Mr G comes over and says I look really pale. I don't feel pale. I ask around. I was apparently really pale. I decide I feel fine and proceed to get off the bench. Nurse stops me and says I have to wait for the doctor.
More waiting. Doctor comes over and checks me up. Blood pressure, are-you-feeling-fines, the usual. All is well. I proceed to the feed-me-lotsa-sweets table. Escorted by a red cross person. "Are you okay?" Then escorted by a red cross person and Mr G. Then seated down and brought food by the two. "I'm fine la I'm fine."
Then waited for JK, LY, M and headed off.

Interesting first time!
Odd to consider that an ex-fraction of my body's blood may end up in another body for use. Coo'.

NNNEXT.

Handphone notes. Time to dump em here.

"You may have long lost twins or clones that you've never met, living in foreign countries. That you will never meet. Ever."
Speaks for itself, really. A wee fantasy.

"A world with people that have the non-mirrored organs of their body horizontally flipped along the body's 'y-axis'. e.g. their hearts on their right, their stomachs on their right."
Odd thought. After which it appeared in this emo comic book I read and the movie Ninja Assassin. Kwinkydink.

"Aint no need to rush for the same late train."
No idea why this arrangement of words popped into head. I've yet to think about it and consider how it may be applied. If at all.

"It's been a long time since I called another person Alex. What are the chances of that happening?"
Mm.

-something-

-something-
I'm saving these two for a later post. They're a bit long.

"Ice cream prata? wtf?"
Saw a sign for it while walking to tuition. Still strikes me as a bit weird. And should probably be put here.

"The fuzzy, primal enclave.
There is a $1 coin in the sky."
Random phrase. And it was a full moon that night.

"can you hear the whistle blow a hundred miles"
Guess I remembered that song and didn't want to forget it again. heh

"The whole world smells like shit today.
-22 march 2010, 8.21am"
Was feeling real emo on the walk to school that morning. I remember that day being the first time I harnessed emo power during training. And it made me slightly awesome. But that's gone nao.

On that note, HUGE judo dinner earlier. Plus lame games on the roof of J8.

And off I go.
Yay, I blogged!

TGIGF tomorrow
and
Happy April fools.

-Zan

Standard

2010-02-19T19:53:00.006+08:00

Standard conversation I've had with many, many people upon just meeting them. 354

Are you Singaporean?
"Yep. Born here."
You're mixed/mixedblood/Eurasian?
"Yep."
So your dad is from..
"Canada."
Oh. [Insert possible comment about Canada] So you go there every year to meet your relatives?
"Twice. Ever. Once when I was a baby."

From which the rest of the conversation tends to follow. mramrm.

When walking towards a certain destination, sometimes people will walk up from beside or behind you in a direction different to yours. Impulsively, I sometimes follow their direction quickly in order to pass them to continue travelling your way. To get out of their way, while still moving forward.
Sometimes, when this does not prove as smooth as I intended, the following occur.

1: The person perceives you as you perceive them, a person-in-the-way, and attempts the same maneuver. This results in a little race where at least one person ends up travelling an unnecesarily long path to where they intended to go, wasting a fair bit of time (and energy) in doing so.

2: The person, oblivious to your action, keeps moving. But you are unable to overtake them within a short period of time, as they walk at a similar or higher speed than you. This results in a little race where you end up travelling an unnecesarily long path to where you intended to go, wasting a fair bit of time (and energy) in doing so.

Not only is time wasted when you sidetrack
and energy wasted when you accelerate
but you may end up travelling the same distance it would have taken you to get to the end, only ending up at another location, like some wall, due to the abberated path.

An alternative approach is simply to pause momentarily, have the person walk in their direction in front of you, and carry on in your direction.
The sacrifice is that you may take a longer time to reach your destination due to the pause. But there is no risk of veering off track in the first place.

Sometimes I forget to use this method, in my oft-hurried walk.

Because sometimes I blur.

-Zan

To Health.

2010-02-15T22:15:00.005+08:00

I have failed. There was just too much stuff to have to be done for me to go all sleepy like that. Not the right time.
:c

Here, have a compensatory drawing.

-Zan

Happycheen!

2010-02-14T14:17:00.004+08:00

Don't be sad that it ended, be happy that it happened.
Don't be sad that it happened, be happy that it ended.

Works both ways under different contexts, lawl.

My report on night 1 of sleeplessness. That's the night of Feb 12/morning of Feb 13.

11.10pm: I look at the clock and think 'you are so not prepared..'
11.59pm: first yawn.
12.23am: drowsy, fidgeting eyes.
12.41am: very heavy eyelidding. So soon? Probably because of judo earlier. Ohboy.
12.59am: k not as drowsy any more.
1.40am: I realise I have about 22 hours before I sleep. I should designate them into work.
2.05am: Tip: do not search for sleep-related articles on Wikipedia.
3.02am: were those dark spots under my eyes there before?
3.04am: time for 5 almonds.
3.45am: time to shut down the compy and read bookz.
4.10am: concentrating on the story proves to be highly unsuccessful due to drowsiness. I go for a walk.
5.30am: back. shower. turn on lights and read in the living room.
somewhereinbetween: seriously going off tangent mentally when reading book. Ocassional 'snap out of it!' moments when I realise my eyes are closed.
9.30am: woah, I look terrible.
[day continues as per normal]
noonish: Thoughts of "I realise I am going to sleep tonight. YYYYEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!"

Thassall. Post-mortem reflection: It felt terrible. It became very difficult to do work on the second half of the 48-hour day. Though I did feel back to full capacity around 2pm. Probably the best I felt was during the walk from St Theresa's and back. There was no reluctance to abuptly stop walking and look around. No rush or pressure at all. Felt serene. Felt nice.

Oh well, the second one's tonight. See what happens.

CNY celebrations today. Went to the Concorde for lion dance, followed by a heavy lunch at Marché. First time there, nice place. Great food. I regret not having my own shredded-potato-thing (called a rösti, I think it was).
Off to family dinner part 2 later today.
Almost done with Heinlein's Stranger. I'm finally at the end!

The End.

-Zan

Dormis

2010-02-12T16:49:00.005+08:00

Before I lose the chance.

Rules.
-Sleep alternate nights for the following period or more: Feb 12 - Feb 20
-Persevere.
-Do not consume caffeine.
-Spend majority of awake-night hours doing productive things. (aka 'don't stone')
-Record observances if any.
-Refrain from acting on potential increased irritability. Be nice.
-No naps until the 16th.

Summary of CNY celebrations @NYJC:
-Sat all the way in the back due to seating arrangements. Rar.
-CO people with instrumental version of what sounded like the Mortal Kombat theme.
-Lion dance. (drums could've been more energetic!)
-Get pulled out with S to go onstage for costume contest thing (because we wore special shirts)
-Gong Xi Fa Cai! *swerves hands in synchrony with partner*
-Embarrass self by over-talking on stage
-2nd for guys category, ho ho
-Judo

-Zan

Personal side-project.

2010-02-11T21:26:00.003+08:00

Construct poetry/song lyrics for the following.

-Structure of DNA
-Transcription Process
-Translation Process
-Interphase (G1, S, G2)
-Functions of Golgi

I don't feel like dancing.

Dancing.

Dancing.

-Zan

A Letter to My Wallet

2010-02-05T23:47:00.002+08:00

Dear Arrow,

I am sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
I know it's been a rough week
and yet I can't let you rest this weekend, not yet.
Please, just bear with me until it's over.
Just a few more days.
I promise.

-Zan

Bodies in Motion

2010-02-01T19:51:00.002+08:00

Sweaty right hand. Right hand's sweaty. Sweaty hand on my right. Past few days. Why why why.

Claire's loud friends propagating large quantities of Obnoxium (Obx). Uergh.

Learnt the 32nd mass dance today. Woot woot woot.

22!

-Zan

Boe Tax

2010-01-30T13:42:00.003+08:00

Barber had his naughty grandson in the barbershop today.
Decided to try having the top slightly longer than the sides, to reduce the poofing-out look that occurs when my hair goes longer.

Two spambots on msn I've deleteblocked recently:

missberner31@hotmail.com:

"Hi. Who is this?"
"hey"
" Do I know you?"
"i'm 21/f your a male right?"
"Yeah. How did you get my email?"
"nice, I just got off work and finally got some time to relax which site did i msg you from again?"
[at this point it's pretty obvious. Just one more test..]
"Applesauce."
"I am a little busy right now, trying to upload some new pics to my photobucket if ya wanna check them out go http://photobucket.com/SweetSouthern tell me what ya think :-)"
"k you're a bot. tsk."
"whats a bot?"
DELETE

corrineklegin95@hotmail.com:

"Hey. Who is this?"
"hey, hows it going?"
"Crap. You're a bot."
"whats a bot?"
"you"
"i'm 22/f your a male right?"
DELETE

Be wary.

-Zan

Languages that would be cool to know.

2010-01-30T00:17:00.003+08:00

English.
German.
Mandarin.
Japanese.
Sanskrit.
Malay.
Afrikaans.
French.
Mandarin.
Spanish.
Italian.
Tamil.
Hindi.
Icelandic.
Russian.
Arabic.
Latin.
Sign.

-Zan

School of a Thousand Zans

2010-01-29T17:32:00.001+08:00

"JUMBO

Open daily except Fridays
9.30AM - 7PM

All are welcome"

Coulda done it today. Cripes.

-Zan

Sapere Aude

2010-01-27T21:35:00.002+08:00

Mental.
Physical.
Academic.

You're not there, boy.
Walk.
Stand up
and Walk.

-Zan

Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2010-01-25T22:55:00.002+08:00

Imagine people with the non-mirrored organs within their body flipped horizontally. Like their hearts on the right. And their appendix on the left. So on. Outside they'd look exactly the same, inside they'd function exactly the same. Just.. flipped.
"Oh, I'm left-bodied."

And that is all.

-Zan

It Seems JZK is Missing.

2010-01-22T16:03:00.005+08:00

I will now list possible reasons.

1. He is injured somewhere and cannot walk and is not in the open.
2. He is kidnapped.
3. Suicide.
4. Homicide.
5. Staying at a friend's house.
6. He has run away and is loitering around the streets with the money he has.
7. Hiding in school.
8. Accidental death.
9. Hiding in LAN shops.
10. He has run away and is living with someone who has hired him for work.
11. His mother is lying.
12. His father has taken him back to China.
13. Some other thing.
14. A company has hired him for his outstanding talents in something, and he is happily overseas.

[EDIT: The answer was apparently 6. And half of 3. And possibly 9, but I don't know for sure.]
[But anyway: hurray]

-Zan

More than Left and Right

2010-01-20T19:34:00.001+08:00

1 + 1 ≠ 2..

1 + 1 = 1 + 1

-Zan

Quick one.

2010-01-17T08:50:00.002+08:00

Diaryblog entries for yesterday and the day before that.

FREITAG
7.30 GP lesson. Continuation of the class similie exercise, lesson on metaphor and personification. I left 10 minutes early to meet up with Ms L at the parade square, as instructed.
Assembly. Got the ltc dvds and distributed to most of the Snapeys. Next: Physics.
Lecture was okay, filling in blank parts of Current Electricity notes on the way due to bridging. Got to know about the exam format with more detail. Gotta ace them last two chapters to secure 40 marks.
Breeeaaaak. Everyone wondering where to go for phys tutorial due to the fact that it was converted from a practical session.
Commence the 2-hr tutorial. Went into Superposition tutorial more (finally cleared my head about what a Harmonic was) and then went into Current.
2.5 hour break. Worked on the econs project. Ish. It's pretty much done save for individual research for our portions of the presentation.
Econs lecture. Which was right in the middle of the partial solar eclipse that may've been seen from Singapore, says John. Rrrrrrrr.

SAMSTAG
Faber jog at 6! Slept early so I woke early so I ran. Ideas arose during my run.
Back, showered, computer-ed, math-ed. Biology-ed. Slept. :D

I guess the day gets simpler without school, no? Yes.

-Zan

Ladies and Gentlemen,

2010-01-16T08:44:00.001+08:00

Nirvana - Charles Bukowski. As read by Tom Waits.

-Zan

When the moon is yellow silver

2010-01-14T21:16:00.003+08:00

Maybe when our story's over
We'll go where it's always spring
The band is playing our song again
And all the world is green
~Tom Waits

Today was the first time I saw a part of my own face flash in the eigengrau. Hrm.

Diaryblogging for today:
Went to school early for PE at 7.30. Height&weight check, followed by three laps around the field. Followed by pullups. ZK did not do his share. Went to canteen, ate yong tau foo, went to econs. Then math lecture. On the applications of differentiation. Then GP. Then physics with the wonderful new teacher Mrs C. Then canteen for an hour before clb. I don't know what it was. But I was dying in that classroom keeping my eyes open. This does not happen. Maybe it was the early PE.
Then I homed.
Then here.

-Zan

Diaryblogging, dwei und drei

2010-01-13T16:55:00.003+08:00

Tuesday:
OPEN HOUSE.
Assembly in the hall, followed by further preparation of booth. Setting up the banners, tablemat, posters, flyers, tiny bookmarks, mats. We changed into our gis and operations soon begun.
Had fun manning the stall. Playing the role of Obligatory Annoying Photographer and watching L, KS and D get chosen the highest number of times (ignoring the fact that we forced KS to play a number of times). Evasive tactics to exclude myself as a armwrestle victim were initially successful, such as playing the 'host' and telling guests they could "play with annnyone you want here" so that they would look around at everyone else. 8D
Watched a bit of the performances, walked around, had lunch, had fun. Felt nice going around the school barefoot. And I shoulda shoulda joined them in 'Tell me'. CRAP
Then it ended. Pack up, help others. Go homme.
Read a bit of that book, finished up biology homework, spent the rest of the evening doing math.

TODAY:
First morning assembly of the year! H, S and I clinched the front part of the assembly line so hurrah. H transitioning from "sol" to "zom".
Econs lecture on Trade. New lecturer, who I feel is the CCW of the Econs department. Der lecturer ist gut!
GP. Mrs T is okay-er than she first appeared. Very much so. But I still don't like the way she does that thing.
Break. Briyani rice is now available in nyjc! As is prata! Fists. In. The air. Exclamationmark.
Math. We chased Mr H to the class after waiting for him to leave the canteen before we left. Went through the differentiation tutorial, thank goodness, quite quickly. He gave us a good refresher on trigonometric properties. Inducing more oooohhs and ohyaaaas.
Bio. Much better than expected! Mr MG's the new tutor. Okay today, but he warns us of change because today was merely our first tutorial with him. Homework: 300-word essay to introduce ourselves to him. wth. side-note: thank you h2 bio students who dropped to h1. Now I have more people in class that I know.
After bio, went to atrium. Signed name on attendance sheet for Bridging Programme records. Filled in new reflection form, meaning my previously-completed one was a bit of a waste. Rr.

Pretty good day, when I think about it.

Now, to book. Then, to math.

(edit: forgot to mention the odd feeling in my right ear. Been lingering with me for the past two days. Feels as though there's water inside my ear, but.. not. Not sure what it is, but I know it is annoying.)

-Zan

Diaryblogging, part 1.

2010-01-11T23:18:00.003+08:00

Right. Almost forgot.

Today I woke up, slept, woke up, prepared my bag for school and left for school. I was unsure what exactly was going to happen there, but I knew what the first thing we'd be doing was. Bringing the mats back from the Art room to the MPR at 7.30 in the morning. Luckily I brought my PE attire for this. Didn't want to sweat in the uniform. Glad to have seen L and K do the same.

After this was assembly. But not before a minidiscussion with Ms Yap regarding the judo exco's treatment for our judo juniors for the year to come. Last year was the year nyjudo faced the greatest number of injuries, apparently. Who knew.

Assembly. I tried very hard not to sleep. Our class finally met our ct/gp tutor, Mrs B's, replacement, Mrs TSL. I am sad to report that she is not Mrs B. We'll see how she is, la.

Break in the canteen. Before we knew it the 30 minutes were over.

In class with Mrs TSL. Obligatory We've-Just-Met talk. Obligatory more-homework assigned to us. Oh, and we got the new school handbooks. Haven't taken the time to analyse mine yet, though.

LT4. Being briefed by Mr N about tomorrow.

Helping out with the setting up of our (small and first-aid looking) judo banner and our judo booth. Cutting out posters on boards, hauling tables, drawing on the voting boards, drawing on the whiteboard for our one-minute arm-wrestling [check it out, mummy's shouting at C. sigh.] challenge.

Home.

Book.

Math.

Math+Computer. [maybe I shouldn't complain, and she deserves it when he does that..]

And here I am.

By the way, this is my 1/3(numberofthebeast)-th published post, according to Blogger. Wooha. (another instance of the number 3!)

-Zan

Weirdo Dreams

2010-01-10T11:17:00.003+08:00

The ghostly backyard. Walking around, we come to a door around the corner. Before we can read the sign on it, it opens and a little girl stands before us. She looks at us, and suddenly a large, exhausted-looking middle-aged and grey man slumps out, putting a hand on my shoulder for support before walking away, followed by the little girl.
We read the sign.
BEWARE
THE PERSON HERE IS A DEAD ENGINEER AND OFTEN FINDS WAYS TO LOCK PEOPLE IN. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Something along those lines. A little longer, perhaps. But I know as I read the bolded text that I was not going to go in that room. I hope he's not feeling too adventurous either. I look at him, and we both turn away from the door. Phew. Of course it then made sense why the large man was so tired - he must have been afraid he may never had left the room. Or something. Perhaps the hand on my shoulder was the result of a yearning for human contact after being stuck so long. Maybe the girl was, in fact, not in there with him. Odd.

-Zan

No Man Ask For

2010-01-09T17:31:00.002+08:00

Perhaps I should try out a week of diary blogging.
To illustrate:

Yesterday I went to Bukit Merah library. Completed my physics homework there, and I was about to leave when - I saw the rain crashing outside the window. Tsk. Of course the rain quickly stopped only after I passed through it to get to the bus home. Oh ya, saw Shabeera at the interchange. What a coincidence.

Like that.
Journalling, basically. Online.
Perhaps next week.

-Zan

SHOVE OFF.

2010-01-08T18:15:00.004+08:00

Idea.
The likelihood that this has been conceived already is extremely high, though: Things that record smell/touch on the spot. Like recorders or cameras. Because views and sounds aren't the only thing that I'd like to sort've 'relive' at will.
In fact, there should be experience-recorders that could allow you to relive your every touch, smell, sight, taste and sound at a given moment. That would be cool.

AWKWFJBASFUBSUFIBASF
GO AWAY
Please go away????
No, really.
Get me the eraser.

-Zan

Many Dollars and No Sense

2010-01-07T14:49:00.002+08:00

Little experiment: to look inside oneself and continuously asking the question 'Why?' after I make a thought. To dig deeper to the simple driving forces of my character. Flublfubllbub.

Today I finally figured out how I want to die!
I wanna be an old person, and allow myself to fall to my death from the highest possible height that I can. Like sky-diving. As high as I can, then I'll fly down. Suspended in mid-air, for the longest time before my death. To bring myself hurtling closer and closer to the world until I am one with it. Flublsdlsublub.

Today I also realised that.. I kinda.. am sad that Huseyn isn't joining us next year. Hurm.
Anyway. A good start with H, S and ZK yesterday.

miniBeard is evening out!

Fascinating.

-Zan

As the Earth Comes Full Circle

2010-01-01T03:14:00.000+08:00

, my brain realises what a sweat it's going to be in for this year.

-Zan

The Matrix,

2009-12-31T14:43:00.003+08:00

Resolutions.
sorry, lame joke

From 2009:
1. Consume nothing but water for 4 days. In January.
Didn't do it. The guilt had me recording my meals for months at a time, though. That's.. Jan 15 - Apr 24 and a briefer Sep 5 to Nov 20. And the only day where I actually did consume nothing but water was April 24th.

2. Obtain at least two As somewhere. Anywhere.
Math, 2.4km run.

5. (and this is from resolutions 2007..) To print out a Multiplication table to the 100s, and an Exponentiation table to the 12s.
Nope. Still nope! >:o

6. More than 1000 in the bank by March. Need to save, man.
Success.

Time for 2010.
1: B-standard for H2 Economics by July.

2: Be in the comfort zone for all subjects by mid-June.

3: Start running regularly again.

4: Be aquaintanced with at least 4 juniors that are non-judo.

5: As for As.

6: Secure my choice of path beyond JC.
Engineering? Architecture? Product design? Science? Writing? Math? Need to keep my mind open lest I find something I didn't know I wanted to do.

7: Read a German book with full comprehension.

8: Read a Mandarin book beyond the primary 3 level with full comprehension.

Kay, that's all for now.
Twenty-Ten, ahoy.

(I realise that if you add up all the digits of 2010, it's another instance of the number 3 in my life. Huzzah.)

-Zan

Booouff

2009-12-30T22:50:00.003+08:00

Like a tether.
Bringin' ya back.
Down.
To the world again.
Face down,
nose down
to the grindstone
Go.

-Zan

Play

2009-12-29T22:54:00.003+08:00

Imagine being cursed with eternal life, eternal wakefulness and eternal immobility.
Like being a rock, but with a mind. (Or soul?)

If you had eyes to look at something, I figure they'd be ignored eventually. You can only look at something so long before disacknowledging (goodness this is an ugly word) it completely.
Same for smell. For taste. Hearing. Touch, even. All washed away in the infinity of your mind.

But what would you do?
What could you do?

Stuck with your head forever.

Imagine?

-Zan

A Series of Good Throws.

2009-12-15T15:37:00.011+08:00

My gentle-sloping ascent. Ascension.

Odd idea: Imagine an immortal humanity. The problem with that would naturally be.. overpopulation. So such humans would need to have their ability to reproduce taken from them, if the planet wishes to survive. But then what? The same family of humans on Earth would stay there indefinitely? How about..
nature only allowing humankind to reproduce (to make new people) once they've done something. Fulfilled a certain quota for nature before they can peacefully pass on their genes and leave Earth themselves.
Still not sure what I wanna make that, though. True love, ala Groundhogs Day? Or... meeting a certain number of people from the rest of the population? Bla.

First post of December.

Kay, kay Vietnam.
Uh, Vietnam was pretty awesome. Serene dearth of people on the streets of Vung tau, and there was something about Ho Chih Minh that made me happy. I'm not sure what. Nice place.
Fun trip with the relatives overall. :D

Avatar was fantastic. Beautiful designs for the flora and fauna. And a good experiment for the part of my brain that practices empathy, as I told S. Lots of polar characters' shoes to put yourself in. Simple story, but well presented.

Christmas. I wish I went out or something! Pretty mundane xmas this year.

It says I typed this on the 15th, but I really did this in parts. So it's my post for the whole of December, sort've. So the lower down the text, the later I typed it.

I just want a room. A silent room. With blank, metal walls and a wooden table and chair. and all my notes and questions and assignments for all my subjects. And for me to just stay there for like.. 3 days. No food, just water. And derive what knowledge I can from all those papers in those 3 days. Then leave the room, a nd continue on from there.
I await the day that knowledge can be downloaded into our brains, including practical knowledge. School would be more engaging. Insert sigh here.

Ha, I remember when I typed 'My gentle-sloping ascent'. Hee.

What do you do when you can do everything?
It's time to reel in that empty hook, throw the line back into the waters. If I was typing the blogpost now, it would have the title "Keep Fishing."

Published 10:55 pm, December 29th, 2009.

-Zan

It rained today.

2009-11-19T17:09:00.004+08:00

Morning:

The way back:

Mind you, it was still raining when I took that picture. Wetting-my-hoodie for the win.
While sitting at the taxi stand waiting for it to subside (in vain), I thought it'd be neat to have hotels (at least, the really really exclusive, up-scale ones) keep a gigantic room that was constantly (artificially) raining inside.
Or, the world's largest fountain. That happens to be fashioned into the shape of a room.
It would have in it different settings to experience the rain in - a forest, the beach, the city, etc.

And no shoes allowed.

-Zan

f(15.11.09) = 97

2009-11-15T23:05:00.003+08:00

From Wikipedia.

Denarian 10 to 19
Vicenarian 20 to 29
Tricenarian 30 to 39
Quadragenarian 40 to 49
Quinquagenarian 50 to 59
Sexagenarian 60 to 69
Septuagenarian 70 to 79
Octogenarian 80 to 89
Nonagenarian 90 to 99
Centenarian 100 to 109
Supercentenarian 110 and older

I personally use Level 1, Level 2, etc. Buh.

I wonder if I should be worrying about the decreasing length of my posts. The blog is following the same pattern of most of my attempted diaries - Initially long entries that simplify and shorten over time.
Then again, it may be.. seasonal? I'll wait for the day that I'm really bored+free to plot myself a graph of Blogpost length vs Time.

'Till then!

-Zan

Oh, I don't know.

2009-11-13T17:18:00.003+08:00

It's over! Will now post whatever comes to mind.

Damn the dry skin on my face. At least it's healing.
OP IS OVER. PW IS OVER. FOREVER. ISH.
The day:
-wake
-school
-watch group 1
-present
-watch group 3
-go canteen and not eat
-going to go home but met up with classmates instead
-Mcdonalds. Forgive me.
-J8. Buy tickets to 2012.
- omg point form!
-walk around. Popular. Music shop. NTUC.
-theatre.
-epic, epic graphics.
-disperse.
home.

Enter judo. And increased library-ing.
Waitrose cereal, anyone?

-Zan

Johnny Walker: Keep ____ing.

2009-10-31T19:16:00.002+08:00

Censorship brings out the worst in people's minds, where necessary or unnecessary.

The rules:
-Don't stop walking for 2 hours.
-Only stop to stop a thing that stops your walk.

Sure enough, it started drizzling.
Then raining.
Then lightning-ing.
But I made it, so nyaa.

HALLOWEEN IS HERE comes Christmas.

-Zan

Denk' an Dich und lass Du gehen

2009-10-26T20:40:00.003+08:00

Sidetrekkin':

What am I doing/saying/being now that future me will look at and go ''Gah, GAH, what a TARD I was. AUGH.'' ?
I find recordings of my past self grueling to the ego.
Ah well. Live and learn, all that.

-Zan

You're chubbing.

2009-10-19T22:01:00.002+08:00

NYJC: H2 Physics Promo Ans ready for download in Litespeed Workbin.

Bastards. This makes me want to pee. Does.

Do you think, perhaps, that an added hour (or 3) to each exam duration would greatly boost the scores of Singapore's students? Or a 'leave when you are done' rule, perhaps? And those that go beyond 5 hours, fail. Because nobody's supposed to take that long in the workforce. Save for, maybe, the dlsyexic.

Intention: About 5 hours to spend in Jurong east mrt. 2 hours designated to contemplating the EoM.
Reality: 5 hours of finding and reading books, about 30 minutes on the train back thinking about EoM. With, I am proud to say, very satisfying results.

-Zan

Hello Sunshine

2009-10-18T10:25:00.002+08:00

Yeah, it's probably over.
You know you are (probably) post-sick when the following do not continue.

-Every time you spit, coloured or not, the spit beholds consistency.
-You are greatly aware of the switch your body does between nostrils for inhalation.
-Random occurrences of sweat
-Fantastic weather sucks

Random thoughts about how we are like a resistor when we shower; water as the 'current' from hose to drain. Buh.

Thinking of the awesomeness of making several clones that are cloned a year apart each.
You'd have
Jack at year 1 beside
Jack at year 2 beside
Jack at year 3 beside..
et cetera.
Would be eerie but still kinda cool. To see the row of fellows beside you. Bizarre mirrors into your body's past.

-Zan

Bleaaargh.

2009-10-17T20:45:00.004+08:00

Despite my general indifference to the practice of abortions, this made me cringe a bit.

I guess I'll need to start making stands about things, sooner or later. The usual I-Don't-Knows and Haven't-Thought-About-Its are getting embarrassing.
Yes, change is a constant and how I think at one point may not be the same after a week, year, month or day. But at least have something to switch. Fence sitting would reduce how many times I may rip myself away from one stand to take on another, I opine. I'd limit my lessons.
Shit, I'm 18.

At times sit like rock
Then as water, seek and spread
Shape and form as mud

-Zan

Mr Blue Sky

2009-10-17T15:12:00.006+08:00

Sweaty, stinky shirt this morning. And what a morning, it's finally not so damn damp. I think the cold is making its exit at last! Phlegm-coughs are less frequent, the headache is down to a whisper. The runny nose is resting. As such I'm not snotting as much. Now, to enjoy the highs of post-runny-nose sickness. Squee.
Phlegming would be pissed.

Incidentally, I am discovering S's early fascination with the game Pandemic. (Pandemic 2, specifically.) Much patience is needed.

Random Occurrences:

+ As discovered last night, a plate with a slightly dried layer of chicken-chop gravy looks like an H-Bomb attack when placed under a running tap of water.

+ Today I discover humor in the name 'Iron Shirt'. From Shaolin soccer. Mumblemumble.

+ I also realise that this is the year I find the phrase "logical conclusion" being used more often than ever. Or at all, actually. Thank you anti-genetic-research literature. And anti-atheistic writings too.

+ My hair, from rat fur, is entering spiky tennisball mode. One rejoices.

kdone.

I'd like to point out the following phrase.
"everything happens for a reason".
People often use this to comfort, to console, as a calming explanation for something annoying. Or even devastating.
What I'd like to say is that 'a reason' does not necessarily mean that there was a good reason behind the act/event. Or a pleasing one. Or an acceptable one. (Like skipping class due to laziness. Also, the holocaust.)
Also note that the reasons in question are not always intentional. (eg "The vase was right behind the door!")

GOVERNMENT OF MADAGASCAR SHUTS DOWN SHIPYARDS TO PREVENT INFECTION
:(
oh, hurry it up...

-Zan

Fleming Would be Pissed

2009-10-06T10:31:00.004+08:00

Oddthought. Do you think our lives would function normally if our thumbs were on the other end of our palms? (i.e. beside the pinkie.)
I imagine many tools and objects would have to be interestingly oddly-designed. (Would it be easier to lift huge boxes?) (or scratch your back?) (how would you hold a pencil?)

What does white noise smell like?

-Zan

Facebook

2009-10-02T21:43:00.003+08:00

traverse and seek, find the names
many true but others changed
different faces, what a shame
inside still the same?

but sometimes I forget the self
perception had benumbed
turn my eyes around and ask:
what have you become?

-Zan

Termini

2009-10-02T19:30:00.006+08:00

My inherent reluctance to turn 18 years of age has yet to present itself.
I will wait.

Postmortem: GP
Now that I think of it, I figure my answers were a bit disorganised. Ideas were presented, but were they clear? For some reason I fear more for the compre answers than for summary and AQ. Brr.
(I realise it's the end of the week. Felt more like a Monday, really. It's odd recalling that I went to school just a few days ago.) (Wait, it's promos already?)

Onwards.

ECONS 2 (time limits and memory will kill you)
BIOLOGY (memory will kill you)
-
PHYS 3 (not knowing will kill you)
MATH (careless mistakes, time limits and not knowing will kill you)
CLB1
CLB2
CLB (LC) (not recognising words will kill you)
-
-
ECONS 1 (not knowing will kill you)
PHYS 1 (careless mistakes will kill you)
PHYS 2 (careless mistakes will kill you)

In the summer grass is dying
In the winter grass is dying
Sit here and seek spring

-Zan

Obligatory Post

2009-09-30T11:59:00.009+08:00

Bzzzt.

ears and a forehead, two bits

Nae man can tether time or tide

-Zan

Point Form

2009-09-25T22:49:00.004+08:00

Frangipani deathstench returns! Loveleh.
Hair is almost at 100% earhiding stage. Before&After pictures will be made. In five days.
Ms Hazel is Here
I woz thinking about the usefulness of a potential presentation tool: A lazer pointer that would serve as a cursor on the projected screen. Moving it around the projection would move the cursor arrow as long as the lazer is turned on and pointed at the image. One would click/rightclick with buttons that are on the lazer. Perhaps the sensitivity of the cursor could be reduced to prevent amplified movements of the lazer pointer (as a result of a tiny movement of the wrist) going out of control.
I FINALLY KILLED THE ROOM ROACH. TRIUMPH. Finally. Urgh.

These pictures remind me of this picture

-Zan

Random Ramble. Ings.

2009-09-20T23:11:00.006+08:00

Red bean snacks are win.
refrigerated-then-left-to-thaw-in-a-plastic-bag-before-eaten red bean snacks are very, very fail.

see also: diarrhea

When you are doing something that will involve the alteration of somebody's conditions, it helps to heighten your approval ratings when you ASK FIRST.
:< @ mom
Also, It's been a while. This is the 174th day. 9 days more and it'll have been a whole half year (in terms of months) that I've had my hair uncut.
(omg, 1+7+4 = 12! And 1+2 = 3! And 9 is 3 squared! I should care somehow!)

Oh, Time. There you go. Again. Running away.
Or rather, being pushed away. Displaced.
By a force mysterious. Something, or someone.
Do come back.
Be mine again.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT LAST WORD MEANS YET, BUT I'LL LOOK IT UP K?

-Zan

Momentary Diversion

2009-09-15T18:09:00.004+08:00

Today is the first time I've ever seen/recognised a blind fellow in the mrt. Swinging his cane at the sensory dots, no less.

ANOTHER DUMB IDEA: A world covered in mechanical, vertical plates. Shaped like the sections made when one cuts an orange with vertical slices. There would be 1440 plates in total, one for each minute of the day (about 28km across the middle). The plates would all rotate at the same speed as the Earth but in the opposite direction. Hence, each plate would be 'frozen' in a specific 'time' of the day. (i.e. one would travel halfway round the Earth to get from the 1pm plate to the 1am plate.)
Or, to be simple, an Earth where one side perpetually faces the sun.
People would choose which time of the day they'd prefer to live in during the long term. The intensity of light would no longer affect the ability of one to sleep. (Perhaps there would exist no sleep altogether.)
If humans decided they'd all want to be living in the sunlight, the 'dark side' of this Earth would be free to grow wildlife undisturbed. Perhaps odd flora and fauna would somehow evolve without the need for sunlight. Maybe firefly-type biology would become extremely commonplace.

Today two butterflies flew past me like so.

(Getthebuzzeralready)

kbakt'werk

-Zan

Diamonds They Fade

2009-09-10T10:16:00.005+08:00

Boo hoo.
Ho hum.

-Zan

neunundneunzig

2009-09-09T14:10:00.004+08:00

One would quite like to cut his long hair. Not that I dislike the long hair. I miss botak freshness.
Should I wait till the end of the month?
Mm. Wheel see.

Wikianswers:
"September 9, 2009, is the 252nd day of the year, 252 adds to 9"
"The day itself falls on a Wednesday and both Wednesday & September have 9 letters."

Mm. I'm surrounded with 3s and 9s myself.
Class 0927. Which is 3squared and 3cubed respectively. (Or 9 and 9squared)
My first name is 9 letters long.
Even 'Boon Siong' is 9 letters long.

Birthmonth is a multiple of 3
Birthday is a multiple of 3, and has the digit 3 in it.
I know 3 people in my school with the same birthday, inclusive of myself.

And that is all. Random9factz

Happy 09/09/2009

-Zan

Random Idea Post

2009-09-07T19:52:00.003+08:00

Here's one I rediscovered:

A world where people, as they age, increase in body temperature.
At a certain age the citizens of such a world would all be sent to one place. A place where they would cause no harm to the rest of the world's living things via contact, and could interact with each other before their last days. Or years. A sort of pre-cemetery, where families hold ceremonies for their elders before they are sent there.
Eventually, said elders would become so hot that they would burn their way down the layers of crust and mantle to centre of the planet and feed the planet's core.

-Zan

If I see another old lady NOT use the reserved seats again...

2009-09-05T13:13:00.003+08:00

The volume of a pizza radius z and thickness a is given as
pi z z a.
Neat stuff.

This post will prelude me using the next few hours finishing off EoM draft 1. Rawrg. Haven't done a non built-up post in a while.
Ah!
Yes.
Let this post mark.. the start of our September study-holiday. I suspect outings and such will arise, which will be slightly annoying, but eh. Bla. Peh. Pff. Que sera sera and all that.

BIOLOGY
*Biomolecules
-Carbohydrates
-Proteins
-Lipids
-Nucleic Acids
*Cell Biology
*Enzymes
*DNA+Gene Expression

PHYSICS
*Measurement
*Kinematics
*Forces
*Newton's Laws
*Conservation of Momentum
*Work Energy Power
*Circular Motion
*Gravitational Field
*Oscillations
*Thermal Physics
*

MATHEMATICS
*Binomial
*APGP
*Summation
*MOD
*Recurrence
*MI
*Graphing
*Inequalities
*Functions
*Vectors

ECONOMICS

I wonder if mosquitoes ever go into shock. When I 'hit' them and find them flying away when I raise my hand. Did the massive sound not affect them at all? Can they hear?
Blof

-Zan

Babatunde

2009-08-30T12:30:00.004+08:00

Time to dump my handphone's Notes folder here.

'Matteo de longis' - artist whose stuff is ossome. Noted down the name when jc and I were at Bishan Library, so I wouldn't forget.

'Slimming cream is dangerous. This is strike two.' - sometime in... July(?), I accidentally dropped a can of slimming cream that was on top of a tall cupboard in my pursuit of a new tube o' toofpaste. The can cracked, and some of the orange cream landed on my forearm.
An hour or so later, in the mrt, I noticed that my forearm really hurt. Apparently a blueblack had formed without me noticing. The pain got worse. Foul substance!
Why strike two? Well. Somebody I know applied the stuff direcrtly on their stomach once, didn't understand how it worked. Didn't know it would sting so very, very badly.
Foul substance.

'Is 'generating phlegm like sneezing in your mouth?' - Random qn-in-head. Whilst walking across the parking lot on the way to the overhead bridge.

'Metal chair with extremely sharp spikes for legs. Every time you sat on it it would sink further into the floor/ground/earth, becoming one with that spot 'forever'.' - While walking up the hill late at night.

'Sensors to measure the weariness of people. Judged on weight of articles carried, age, muscle mass, etc. For usage in mrt cars as indicator of seat priorities.' - Outram mrt. I suspect this is the result of my brain being whiny about my everheavy bag.

'Jobscentral.com.sg/careerfair' - For memory.

'Get hit. Let go.' - No remember why. Maybe this was after parent-teacher meeting. Or something.

'An expert is someone who was once pert.' - Yesterday, on the way to the bank. Wordplay is win!

In exactly a month, I will have 2 stages left before I complete Level 2.

Back to paper?
Back to paper?
Back to paper?

-Zan

Initiative.

2009-08-14T20:35:00.002+08:00

The judo master made his way home. It had been a long, depressing day at the dojo. The new batch of students seldom fell without whining, and he never fared well with this.
He made his way to the train station. In a moment, the next train arrived.
The master stepped in. Sat. The train moved on to the next stop.
A drunk old man stumbled in, shouting and cursing at the ceiling, the floor and all things inbetween.

The master stared.

The drunk staggered over to the young woman, whose face was buried within her novel. He slapped it from her hands and stepped on its crisp, white pages.

The master stared still. 'If he did that to me, I'd make a mess out of him.' he thought.

The drunk, quite finished with the poor woman, set his sights on the elderly man beside her. He shoved, cursed at and even slapped the man, who in frightened stupor immediately left the train at the next stop.

'If he even thinks about laying a finger on me, he's a dead man.' muttered the master as he watched from the opposite bench. He clutched his bag tight with rage at the drunk's dearth of respect.

The drunkard swaggered over to the boy beside the master. A torrent of obscenities, certainly unfit for the ears of such a youth, poured from the drunkard's purple, enraged face. The boy burst into tears, and he ran off as well.

The master couldn't wait for his turn with the drunkard. He'd finally get back at him for the havoc and disrespect he had dealt to those around him. The master's eyes glared in furious anticipation. Only he was left.

The drunk man turned his head to the master. They exchanged stares. The drunkard gave a grunt and as he moved his foot forward, the master's hands freed themselves of his baggage. 'Go ahead. Do something.' he thought. 'I'm ready.'

The drunkard walked out of the train.

The master, dumbfounded, looked around him.

-Zan

Join Me In The Spiral

2009-08-02T11:11:00.002+08:00

The Gods of Nostalgia beam their smiles down on me this morning. Their power is great and overbearing, and despite all things the hidden presence makes it all better.
Despite the plugged ears. Despite the nocturnal mosquitoes. Despite the dry eyes and wet night shirts. Despite this past week's sickness and the medicine, the early nights and my tinkly phone alarm. Despite the CLB file. Despite having Vic hear me swear on video and give me miniature hell for it. Despite my double fast-food nights. Despite the drawing blocks. Despite stepping on this clotheshanger. Despite the sore throat, the phegmy yellow blobs and my public hoaaaaaarrgghggghking. Despite the smses. Despite mrt people. Despite the bad punctuation of this post, even. Despite it all...

I feels fantarstick!

Moreso than you, maybe.

Hidden nostalgic frequencies are a force sublime.

-Zan

Now That I Have a Cam...

2009-07-25T13:19:00.005+08:00

Date of purchase:
September 30, 2008

Moment of death:
May 3, 2009 9:15:28 AM

Moment of disposal:
July 25, 2009 1:19:28 PM

-Zan

Epic Naps

2009-07-25T09:04:00.006+08:00

Known also as early, unprepared Sleeps.

The following is another Thing-I've-Always-Wanted-To-Post. I sort've forgot this one a few times along the way. Until a week or so earlier. I guess it wasn't as great as I initially thought it was, back when I thought it?
Probably because it relies on ageist stereotypes. And doesn't apply to all situations.
Dang.

Anyway.

Observe the above image.
The arrows represent the type of thinking held
by each of the ages represented by the photographs.

THE CHILD:
Arrow points forward. Immersed in curiosity, the child seeks to discover more of the world he inhabits. The future is a fun thought to think of. "When I grow up, I'll be...!" and so on.

THE ADULT:
Arrow points downward. Immersed in the present, the adult is busy and occupied with the many matters at hand. One must think of what to do next, what to do Now. "Just a sec, I've got to do this"

THE ELDER:
Arrow points back. The angel of Reminisce drops by countless times, as the elder recalls the sinewave that was his/her life before the final years fall into place. The great changes of the present can't help but remind the elder of what they were changes of - the past. "Back in my day, you'd never see that happening. I tell you.."

Und das ist alle.
Don't really like it that much, and that's probably why it took so long from conception to publishing. I mean... the child should have two arrows, one down and one forward. The adult would have an arrow down and a thin arrow forward. Some adults are all down, some are all forward, some are all backward. Some 'Elder's would have an additional arrow down and forward. And so on. And so on.

And now... to do it for the love.
Phyllis should take it well. Martha's already there. Connie needs analysis and Miss B has too much to be productive.

-Zan

The Breathing Moss

2009-07-18T00:15:00.004+08:00

(ithinkioverdidtheshadowsonthelastone)

Woke up this morning with completely numb right arm. Brought it down from above my head, left it there. When the blood rushed back it felt like it was... contracting? Buh.

SAW BEETLE LARVA ON WAY TO MRT THIS MORNING. Maggoty fat grub. Beetle larvae. Larva.

visualart
metalwork
woodwork
mathematics
philosophy
anatomy
physics,actually
environmentalengineering?

-Zan

Consider Having Omnipotence.

2009-07-13T21:47:00.005+08:00

Wat zou je doen?

Would you live your life the way it is now, cheating from time to time?
Would you live your own paradise?
Would you let yourself die?
Pass your abilities to somebody else?
Throw them away?
Play around? (eg making oneself gigantic enough that you'd be able to look at the universe from a god's-eye view) (eg making oneself so small you could see the inside of atoms, of quarks, beyond.) (eg exploding miles of ocean into the air, then spontaneously freezing it to make strange, sharp scultures) (eg peeling open your skin painlessly to assess your physical inner self?) (et cetera. Et cetera.)

Assuming you bore omnipotence, and lived forever, at what point would it get boring and unfascinating?
Would it?

-Zan

Failboy Fail Is.

2009-07-12T19:51:00.020+08:00

And I turned anticlockwise, still facing the books. Seeing a row of identical Fables book spines, I took one out to see if I'd read it before. Familiar cover. Skimmed through it, found I had indeed read it before. Then I noticed to little boy to my right. He took a book out of one row of books, and unknowingly had shifted the bookstand that all the rest of the books in the row were leaning on.
One book fell. Then two. Then we both stood and stared as the rest of the row slowly tumbled to the floor.

I could've helped stop the great fall.

But.

I wanted to see how far it would go...

After about 5/6ths of the row's books were piled sideways on the floor, I dove in to help.

Done.

Continue walking around circular bookshelf. See boy again, this time with mother.
Boy takes out one book.
About 3 fall out, onto the floor.

Zan stifles laughter, looks away.

Failboy is fail.

And now, photodump from the phone.

(From National Museum)

(Not done yet, but not in mood to upload the rest)

Nostalgia tickles me. Come closer, darn you.

-Zan

Quietly.

2009-07-09T18:39:00.002+08:00

Pronouncing Dwing gives you a weird pronounciation of the word Doing.
dwing

Martha and I are doing fine, but things could be brought to a higher level. I won't be going out with Connie and Selvy until next week, but I suspect things will be dumpy. We never really clicked, but I'm still hopeful. Bonnie..? ..sigh. And Phyllis and I always had a spark between us, we were so passionate. Now I can barely listen to her.
And I want her back.

The angel of Pleasant Nostalgia has been brushing me with his feathers this afternoon. A new kind of brush, this nostalgia feels different. Maybe it's from farther back? Mm.
FEEL THOUGH DOES NICE IT
: ))

-Zan

Crackle-Pop

2009-07-03T17:54:00.003+08:00

Alpen, milk and two strawberries.
In a blender.
Oh yeah.
(Don't taste no different, actually)

"Meh"

List of asymmetries I've found through the years:

-upper teeth/gum row tilted slightly anticlockwise (clockwise from my view) with respect to upper lip
-left tooth-between-canine-and-fronttooth slightly more inside the gum than the right tooth-between-canine-and-fronttooth
-(my) left eyelid lower than right
-left chin hair grows pointing downwards, right chin hair points back
-same thing with central region of eyebrows: left one starts off pointing up-ish, right one starts pointing sideways
-EARS. Left one sticks out more
-sparser arrangement of sideburns on my right cheek than the left one
-nails of left and right big toe are strangely differently structured

And that's just the ones I've found.

-Zan

Slapdash

2009-07-02T16:52:00.009+08:00

Mmrmm. 8am paper today.

I woke up at about 6.00am, turned the alarm off, looked at the bathroom door and saw that the door was closed, light coming from inside. Sister already showering. Hmp.
Back to bed. Just a tad more rest.

I woke up at about 7.12am, realised this, bolted to the shower, tried to smear on the liquid soap as I washed self. Got out, put on uniform, took bag, left. Dashed to mrt. "Arriving in 3 minutes", it said.

Entered exam venue, sweating, at about 7.50am. Took stuff. Sat down.

Phew.

(friggin 5th-level venue)
(fraggin people-already-using-elevator. rar)
"lolnotsobadwhatHope that's the answer!shitnotime"

and
"OhshitnodictionaryHope that's the answer!"

And then you realise that it's there to be done whether you want to take it away or not. And then it's so much easier to want to do it, because it'll be there so long that you start to have fun with it.

Z?

Time to edit an old post.

-Zan

Papierre theme part Deux

2009-06-30T18:31:00.002+08:00

"Shit, do my fingers hurt!"

Onward to

:0

0:

Physics.
And clb.

-Zan

And the Theme for Today's Paper is...

2009-06-29T18:08:00.003+08:00

"If I just had more time!"

Mm. Onwards to Ekawns.
I predict the next theme'll be along the lines of "I couldn't remember!"

Again: Mm.

-Zan

I Can Feel It Dave

2009-06-25T21:55:00.004+08:00

A man on the same mrt train section as I went with me from Dhoby Ghaut to Harbourfront. He was middle aged, paunchy. Not one you would call 'chipper'. We reached the last stop of the North East Line and everyone left. I slowly packed my book into my bag - the train at the last stop waits long before leaving - and noticed he was still just sitting there. He stayed in the train, other people got on, the train went off.
Odd.

Think he's still there?

Daisy Daisy
give me your answer do
I'm half cra zy
all for the love of you
It won't be a sty lish marriage
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two

-Zan

And Now, to Be Goodboy

2009-06-24T15:09:00.004+08:00

My dear friend Opinion thinks that naming other people the following words
idiot
stupid
is an act more vulgar than if words conventionally considered vulgar (eg Fucker) were used. Don't be an idiot. Why are you so stupid? You don't have to be such an idiot. Et cetera. To call someone as such is an insult to... their mind. (lol mindhead) Their mind, that which is used
every day, to do
everything, at
every given moment.
You insult their life, foo.
Of course it's less insulting if one decides to be more... constructive with the criticism ('that's stupid, you should be doing this' as opposed to 'you're being stupid. stop it.') because Opinion says it's not very nice to call someone out on something they can't change. Or don't know how to change.
"Stop being an idiot."
Is the receiver supposed to understand immediately how he/she is being what the giver considers 'idiotic'?
Tsk.

(btw: This is all directed at a particular person I know who is a fan of using these words. The person hasn't used them to me in... years, I think, but they've still been using em on other people. And if you think it is you I refer to, and ask me if this is so, you will be told it is not. So fret not.)

-Zan

Right.

2009-06-23T20:07:00.006+08:00

Tot: I know I'm feeling a little down when I actually do feel like I'm 'wasting my breath' when I speak.
*inhaaale.*
"YyyeeEEESS??!"

I remember thinking, whilst in school, about how fantastic and convenient it would be if we didn't have classes or ccas so frequently, and thus would be able to stay at home and have optimum time to study ourselves.

We have that now, and I think I've been taking it for granted a wee bit. I've forgotten how much I wanted this, and what I wanted it for. Ey?

L. O. V.

-Zan

Loobs.

2009-06-22T22:45:00.004+08:00

Slapdash says:
List of interesting things to draw:

-tarot
-megaman robot masters
-mythical beasts
-mythical beasts of literature that are only described, but not illustrated, and are left to the artist's interpretation (eg behemoth)
-elemental creatures
-tribal shitizzle from africa + newzealand (egmasks)
-jap stuff.. duh.
-chimps/mandrills/spidermonkeys
-prehensile body parts of animals
-personifications/embodiments of things (eg Death, Life, War etc)

WARNING: NEXT PARAGRAPH NOT FOR THE "EEW"-ING VARIETY OF PEOPLE.
LOOK AWAY.
AWAY.

Decided to post a habit that started earlier this year, left me, and now seems to be returning.
When peeing on a really full bladder, I put four fingers of my hand on my stomach, just slightly below the belly button, and keep it there. After the last drop has been dropzed, I place my thumb where that area of my stomach now is, and measure the difference in distance.
Just to see how much of my bladder's width has changed. Heh.
Cheap thrillz.
Disgusting habits.
Off.

[Edit: I apologize to those who cannot/do not pee standing up. For they are unable to indulge in this sick, sick habit.]

-Zan

Coffee's Only a Dime

2009-06-22T00:14:00.003+08:00

June 16th.
Around 5pm.
You. Yes, you. That was very much uncalled for.
You are a confused, angry little boy.
Contemplate that, control yourself.

kayenuffofthat:

About the word 'Relationship'. It needs to be explained to some why to 'be in a relationship' with someone does not necessarily involve romance.
One should look into roots of the word.
Relationship. There is a relation between them. They are related.
"Billy is in a relationship with Mary."
This merely means that Billy and Mary are related in one way or another. Not necessarily romantic, it could be referring to a friendship, partnership, acquaintanceship, comanionship, etc.

And then I search the word on dictionary.com, and it ruins all of that with its fourth definition:

4. a sexual involvement; affair.

Thanks, dic.com
ihateyou

Also on le thème de la romance, I woz thinking one day about the nature of romance in most movies. Most film romances are the Love-At-First-Sight type, instead of that gradual, slow, progression that later buds into... confusion.. then blooms.

Blooms into the realisation "OMG I'VE FALLEN IN LIKE WIT YOO".
und zen i thought... wait. That kind of romance does appear on screens. Usually on dramas/soaps though.
I suppose it's the time constraints that cause this. It's all their fault.

('Playing hearts' has an interesting double meaning. Lawl.)

Interesting how, as a 13/14/15/16 year old, one can imagine romantic (or, for some... erotic?) scenarios with peers of the same age. And it appears perfectly fine. But years after, when one is, oh, say... 20? 30? And beyond? If those same thoughts of the same people at that time period arise in one's head, they would be opined as

really disgusting.

Not that I don't follow this. I just don't understand. (Or bother enough to mentally investigate. Yet.)

June 18th: First time in a loooong time I went outdoors without a bag with me/on my back. Woot!
The event: 5/1 class bbq @ CT's haus

Randomtot.
Just as pleasure made constant and continuous is nullified, so Pain made constant and continuous is nullified.

i.e. Get studying, sirs and madams.
i.e. Get exercising.
Eat less.
Save money.
etc etc.
It may be shit for some, but the shit will pass.
Provided you deal with it long enough.

Random idea dump!
A multinational corporation that provided access to future-viewing?
It would never get infiltrated, as they would be able to look ahead and see you try.
They would always have enough moolah to maintain the company, given their ability to see how stock market goez.
They would have a code: to never take advantage of the future-viewing device/machine/whatever for malicious gains.
Their purpose would be to deflect possible dangers caused by the way the world's people are doing things at the time.

WHAT?
RANDOM JUDO TRAINING TOMORROW?
(actually today, technically, but)
AW MAN.
Last week of study, leh. Lehzx.
Bah, humbug.

-Zan

Get to it, Kid

2009-06-18T00:00:00.003+08:00

Hmph. The usual dashwalk aint doing so well lately. No hoppage-jumpage.
Starve a little?
Starve a little. In more ways than one.
Iwantmyjawbackdagnabbit

-Zan

Strawberry Windz

2009-06-09T19:44:00.008+08:00

WE GOT HOT WATER BACK
HOT WATER.
BACK.
THE HEATER'S BEEN REPLACED JOYSHINEWEEHAPPYJOYNESSANDWONDER
WEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEEEEEWWWWWWWWT.

Finally.
Not that I didn't get used to icy showers, but the feel of WARM WATER on one's ornery self after forgetting such a sensuous wonder of wonders... kicks ass.

Finally.
Gawde.
Unfortunately, the fingers of my right hand have skinscrape wounds right between the knuckles and nails.

A trip to the bathroom sink reminded me that raw skin + water = $%@*&

And so, every trip to the shower involves my right hand avoiding getting wet. So my left hand does all the soapwork, while righty holds the nozzle. As a result, the left side of my body gets less soaped-up, as my left hand can't quite reach my left armpit/armarea/back. So my mind does something it hasn't done in ages; it anthropomorphises the left and right sides of my body. "I have to be dirty because you hurt?!" etc etc.
(I used to do that with... scissorsleavesfurniturepillowswalletslegoblocks etc etc)
(back in them wee years)
(Thought: My right hand remains unwashed though. So fair game.)

IDEADUMP:
Mini social networking website that allocates each day of our 2009 years (or maybe just the past 100) to a list of people born on those days.
Then further breaks upthe hours of each day and allocates the hours to people born within those times. (Maybe even break it up into seconds?)
So... people would be able to find others that were born at the exact same day. Or moment, even. You know, for shits and giggles.

PS: This is one of the first, if not the first, movies I watched in cinema. Finally tracked it down.

Ah, phuket. Nothing moretowrite.
I WANT.

GET TO STUDYING ALREADY. GOSH.

-Zan

Red is Me is Red Me is Red

2009-06-05T23:58:00.005+08:00

*flicks overturned beetlebaby off tablet*

Hads outing with jewdokas yesterday at Sentosa.
Had econs lessons at school before, so I arrived a lil later. Got on the tram to Sentosa, took it to Beach Station.
Got out.
Turned left, where any unsuspecting Sentosa-frequenting teenager would have gone. To Palawan, and that other beach. Where there's so much more free space. And clean water. And atmospheric beachpeople noise. And... NOT SILOSO. Which was where everyone turned out to be.
Something I found out after walking half the way back from the other side of the friggin beach.
Answer yer phones, beaches.

Anyway.
Activities that occurred:
1: Burying jc in sand
2: Volleyball
3: Volleyball
4: Soccer with strangers
5: Getting pwnt by the sun
6: Swim
7: Volleyball
8: FOOWED.
9: FOOWED, VIVO EDITION

Activites I participated in:
1. Not to mention the administration of sandboob surgery upon the aforementioned jc.
2. Watching, mostly.
3. With 4-5 people. bdoink
4. lol, no.
5. facearmsbackneck
6. And splashing balls in peoples' faces. And splashing sands in peoples' faces. And splashing random seaweeds ats peoples' faces. And getting sea-osotogaried. And floating.
7. lol
8: CHOMPchickenrice
9: CHOMPbrownricemealfromthatthunderteariceshopinfoodcourtomglongsentence
10: goes homes.
11: Attend judo the next day with painful burning back and face.
12: Get pwned by Matthew who I took the bus with to school (which we were both going to) from bpss instead of taking the circle line.
Whilst already in bus:
"how long does it take?"
"about 40 minutes?"
LOLPWNT

Und that was all.
[/report]

-Zan

Consider Staring at a Light Source For Hours.

2009-06-01T15:36:00.003+08:00

coughcoughcomputermonitorcoughahemcough

Anyhway. Want to put this idea here because
well
I just like the name, really. The concept probably isn't all that new. Or original.

A FAST FOOD PLACE FOR STUDYING!
Tables would be large and spacious.
Cheap earplugs would be sold at the counter for those who wish to study in silence.
Or... a 'silent study room' could be organised.
Eating permitted anywhere within le place.
Target consumers would be students, o course.
Food would be snacks only, no mealz0rs. That means everything sold seperately.
EZlink paying, yay
Laptop room, for laptop studyers!
No music/radio being played overhead!
Various isolated studyrooms!
Best of all,
this ridiculously large-and-thus-expensive place would be called...

*casts drumroll*

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STUDEAT! WOOWEWTWOOHOOYEOWOHYeaaahzx0rs
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*wholepurposeofthisposthasbeenachieved*

..
yeah. It'd just be nice to have an indoor studyish environment
that permits eating.

Gahmen, do your thing.

-Zan

Tagz0rx

2009-05-30T14:28:00.001+08:00

herewego

-Zan

Consider an Atheist Hillbilly.

2009-05-29T19:00:00.011+08:00

Fate and her ally Understandingmp3 join forces to kick me in the face: On the mrt home, as I read the Isaac Asimov book, I chance upon the short story The Fun They had.
Read it and the trauma will be apparent. Probably.
(Remember that I read this on the last day of school before the month-long holidays.)

Then Understandingmp3 gives me We've Gotta Get Out Of This Place by The Animals as I leave Harbourfront mrt into the fresh day's air, into the holidays.
Aahhh.

Here's the zebragraphs I've been pining to create since sec school, comin right up.
But first, some background.

Observe! The road outside Outram Sec. In orange are the entrances to the school's interior, and the red lines represent sidewalks.
After walking across the bridge, I enter the scene in the direction indicated by the pink arrow. One would simply jaywalk in a straight line to the large school entrance, but no. You can't jaywalk. Teachers drive to school in the morning, and it sucks to be caught by their angry cars.
AND SO. Here are the two routes that I'd take if I were to enter le school.

Eh, I usually use the blue route anyway. Less break in my line of direction, and not as much of a slope to climb once I'm inside.
Anyway.
Through months of walked down these paths, I seeked efficiency. How would I be able to get to the other side of the road in the least distance/time, whilst having to walk over that stupid zebra crossing?
And so, I mindxperimented with the following routes.

In transparent red is the 'normal' route. (see: n00wbzx0rZ route)

1: My favourite route. Especially satisfying when ending up ahead of people that were walking at the same speed as you before the zebra crossing. Confuses the councillors too.

2: Meh, a bit more guai. Better than the normal, but not as satisfying or fast as 1.

3: Even guaier-er. Used on days where I feel lazy or the DM is watching.

4: Lulz. Not used so much because it's the riskiest of the four. Only when in a rush.

Now for the bottomright-to-bottomleft crossings...

5: The other favourite. Used almost always, just a skimming of the zebra crossing to show I've acknowledged I'm not supposed to jaywalk (stupid camera-in-front-of-school).

6: Used when lazy. Again, just grazes the crossing. I do my best to file down that red path to a straight line.

7: omg secret path!: just jaywalk bah

Mangoes be a-falling along Marang road. This means food for birds, lizards, thecat, ants, squirrels, unwantedvisitorsthatcollectthebloodyfruit, squirrels and squirrels.
Also, this one day (last last week?) when I was walking home I thought of a neat-arse idea: 3-dimensional billards. In antigravity. Wooten!
It'd be neat to float one's way around the balls in the billiards arena to make each shot. The lack of gravity would enable balls to travel in a straight line, without the balls' weight pulling them away into a curved route and all.
I guess the only problem would be... how to stop the balls from moving on indefinitely? How to have them roll at the same speed and friction that a velvety pool table would provide? I doubt that the air in a space shuttle alone would give enough air resistance to stop the balls moving whole metres away from each other after a collision. What then?
Hm. Air saturated with a certain chemical would work, I guess. A chemical with just the right structure that would have the balls appear to move through it with the same friction as the aforementioned velvety table. Of course, such thick air would be dangerous to inhale. So astro-billiards-ers would have to wear gas masks.

Dang.

It's still a neat thing to fantasize about if it worked...
>:b

Another thing found weeks ago: There is a spot on the back of my head (or is it in?) that goes all warm when I am... unknowingly frustrated? Or sianzed even? Dunno. But I felt it weeks ago, and it felt familiar. Just can't quite put a finger on what caused it the previous few times.

I thought about the times in my past where I've looked upon another person exhibit behaviours that I once had too. The stages in my behavioural development that I've passed, and now look back/look at other people exhibit them and think "Heh, I've been there/passed that stage". Like when a certain JZK talked about joining ___ as a cca because he wanted to focus on intellectual development rather than physical.
As if you had to sacrifice one for the other, or something.
And I realised that I used that excuse in primary school to keep indulging myself in my books, drawings and computering. Instead of standing up off my ass and exercising.
Also, when I saw JZK do tiny, silent, vicious attacks in response to repeated taunting n shit, I realised I did that a couple of times in the past too. If someone wouldn't stop being annoying, I'd make a quick and really painful pinch then go about like I didn't do a thing. Seeing someone do that again made me lol.
lol.
Anyway. This made me think o the things I'm doing now. Which ways I adopt will I look back on and say "lolz, I did that" or "lulz, I'm past that now"?
Do we really grow past these things? Or do our changing environments deprive us of the opportunity to reenact them again?
Bleh.

Also thought of what infinite longevity/youth would do to retirement. Or marriage.
Think. If you could live forever without dying by natural causes, would you ever be able to retire? To sustain the infinite amount of feeding you'd have to provide yourself, you would have to work.. like, forever.
But wait! Retirement may not disappear, but merely change its ways. People may work for about.. 60 years, then 'retire' for another 40 years with those savings, then start working again for another 60 years, then retire again, repeat ad infinitum. Retirement cycles, they'd be called. And we could get different jobs each time.
(Is there a job you could find that would keep you in retirement for the rest of your life?)
(i.e one that would keep providing without further input?)

And... marriage. What would happen to couples if they could live for thousands of years? Would people stick to the same person for that length of time? How many people will use the phrase "together 4ever" when actually faced with the 'forever' they've promised?
I'd imagine that marriages would eventually fade out, polygamy embraced as norm and children finding themselves in family trees that continuously expand not only from the latest branches, but in the earlier branches as well.
But who knows. Couples may indeed last forever.
Heh.
Couples may even decide to end their lives together.
Gawsh. What would happen to the concept of death in a world where nobody can say "we'll all die eventually"? People could go on living forever if they wanted (of course, if they didn't like eat poison or commit suicide or sth)and death, if not by accident, would become a choice. A final "Kay, I think I've had enough" moment.
Would each person have a very special day to mark this event? This event where they decide not to go on? Or would such suicide have numerous efforts to be prevented, as it is now?

Have been revisiting Smash Mouth lately. Iz good stuffz. I wish I had limewire again, gawsh.
Yes, Vic. It was nice when I could pirate without knowing that it was pirating.
Sighz.
Yeah, I'd buy their cd, too. cheesebun

Oh ja. ZAN'S FRIGGIN NAPFA:

pullups 10
situps 45
shuttle run 9.4
sit&reach 145? Idunno, but I got B. And I'm 17 at the moment. (17.66, actually.)
jump 232
2.4: 10.20

Dumb little thing I noticed: Every word that ends with a plosive followed by 'le' can be pronounced the same way if the 'le' is reversed to 'el':
Principle > Principel
Jingle > Jingel
Dangle > Dangel
etc etc.

wewtzen

-Zan

A Dumping.

2009-05-11T01:40:00.002+08:00

Not very bloglike. I'm sorry:

Just putting stuff here so I can go back and think about them later. Things I wanna think about, but not right now. For it is 1.40 am:

-Why it seems more ethical to pick a dollar note that was left there off the ground than to stumble inside a house with the door left open and a dollar note left on the table, then take that note, or see a car with the door left open and a dollar note left on the dashboard, then taking the note.

-The advantages of sticking to honour

-Gosh, there's still that zebra-crossing thing I never posted here. rrgh

(Hopefully, I'll edit this post and make it proper)

-Zan

Mmmmeh.

2009-05-08T23:32:00.003+08:00

Needed to realise and put this somewhere.

Edit:

-Zan