gym!

Oh yar, forgot to mention
I went to the gym today! woo
with cf. Finally went after months of.. well, not going. Woots.

(Yeah, I'm actually writing this in 2009, jan 1, but edited the post options to 31st Dec 2008. Future writer, woo.)

Coming to you live from next year!

-Zan

Heh.

I just realised how difficult it is to look at a mirror, mouth words and think of the words out loud in your head (oxymoronic phrase!) with a slight delay.


Merry Exmuss!



-Zan

mrmmrrrr

Some prefer to argue as if to win a chess game by throwing the board at the opponent halfway through the round and then shout that they have won so loudly that they hear only the sound of their own voice.

bonusqn: if people shouldn't critique people whose jobs/tasks they cannot perform better (if at all), how can anyone who has never been a president vote for a president?

-Zan

Thpam

Rrr. Getting spam comments on friendster. Probably the people who get the message "Hey you look awesome at the party photos. Come see the pix at this link: blablabla"

Maybe if they click them, something causes them to spam their friends' profiles?
or maybe even viewing the message does that. Yikes. Am I spamming?

OR

Maybe it doesn't even stem from the messages. Maybe it's the comments.
The comments I'm spammed with contain a link to a youtube video.
Maybe clicking that link will cause the spam to be sent to other people.
Who knows.

-Zan

Back

Back to evenly-aligned and clean sidewalks!

Back to no more converting Baht into Singapore dollars every time I see a number!

Back to fans instead of air-conditioning!

Back to (almost) no more limbless people begging on the street!

Back to music on my computer!

Back to youtube!

Minesweeper!

Cereal!

Back to 'Hello' and 'Thank you' instead of 'sawasdee kap' and 'kap kun kap'!

Back to not washing my crocs every two days!

Back to not washing my clothes in the shower!

Back to non-bargained purchases!
Back to non-bargained purchases. Urgh.

Back to thick toilet paper! Awesome!

Back to no more 'Hey, lets all go get another foot massage' every 3 hours!

Back to the jungle!
I can see groups of trees again!

Back to Marang Road!

I'm back to Singapore!


(Woots.)


-Zan

Boing.

Contrairement à la croyance populaire.
^
"Contrary to popular belief" in French. Gotta remember that.


Here's what I managed to produce for "My Perfect Day" when Cynthia asked.

copypasted from msn:

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
How aboout
I dont like when people describe a positive thing about me to another person
ahemahemnicole'smomahemahem

Perfect day?
I would wake up from a fantastic sleep from which a very interesting lucid dream was produced. I would remember every part of this dream long enough to go write it down. For some reason, on this day time has slowed down and it is still 7.30am. Yet I feel well-rested. I go running up mount faber and through the bridges and around the horticultural park and along that road beside the bus interchange that I only went once which had a great foresty smell I never smelled/smelt before and then back home. During the run, the sun would be beaming and really bright and it'd be a really hot day. And I would be wearing a thin sleeveless shirt so that I wouldnt have a bloody shirttan. I'd go home and use bags to do weight training exercises while still sweating from the run. I keep sweating until I decide to shower
When I am so very, very tired liao I go for a cold shower
after which I wear this nice loose shirt and track pants that arent so long they occassionally


X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
find themselves under my heels
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
when I walk.

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
I go to the living room, and it happens to suddenly rain
the weather is cool and there are winds about. There are no clothes hanging outside all of a sudden so I dont need to bring them in. Nobody else is at home, so I know that there is still fruit in the fridge
I get out juicy, red pomelo that has been pre-peeled
I get out prepeeled oranges
I get out a carton of grapefruit juice, no cup because I know I'll finish it all.
I sit under the livingroom fan and eat all this

I get out seedy cereal and pour it into a bowl with milk
I eat it

I look at the clock, it's only 8.30
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
I get out all chapters of some comic I borrowed from the library and finish the whole thing until 10pm
I have my blue sketchbook beside me, and a mechanical pencil that does not smudge on paper or rub onto the skin upon contact. I draw animals, heads and characters. I draw hands that are really ugly and bony. It is now 11pm
Delighted that is still before 12nn, I go to Sentosa and find that the beach has been cleared of the muck and litter that is everpresent in the waters. Nobody is on the beach, so I change on the beach without having to use the crappy bathrooms. I lounge around in the water and feel the waves until I decide to swim to the tiny island that is about 200m away
on the little island, I make lots of sandcastles and figures. I find many interesting rocks and shells, which I keep

I swim back to shore, losing some of the shells on the way

I relax a little more, and walk back. It is really sunny now, and my skin is dried as I walk along the beach.
Nobody is at the open public shower, so I can use it without wearing swimming attire
I cycle back home, but not before cycling
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
around the area
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
and I shower again

it is 12.30pm

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
I am, for some reason, not sleepy at all
despite all the exercise

nor am I hungry. I surf the internet and read pages and pages of wikipedia
I read webcomics

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
All the while, I listen to music that I find suits my exact moods at the moment the music plays, and sing loudly to the music or songs that happen to play
Someone on msn asks me to help then make a graphic and I do it in 20 minutes. It is beautiful. He makes some comments about how it could be changes, and I completely agree with him and willingly make the amendments
I make a blog entry that makes me smile when I write it
I find a website that has sketches of mike mignola and simon bisley
some of this inspires me and I scribble stuff on the sketchbook that's right beside me
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
it is 2pm
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
..
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
Trying to think of a perfect afternoon. Er.

BRIEF INTERLUDE
BRIEF INTERLUDE
BRIEF INTERLUDE
BREIF INTRELEDU

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
I'm still at the computer, 2pm
I search up lots of photos of particular animals with google image search and make a collage of the animals in microsoft paint
using these collages, I master chimpanzees, goats, mandrills and octopi
It is 3.45
someone interesting appears on msn and I have a interesting talk with them lasting till 5pm
I realise I havent eaten in quite a while, and go to vivo
I go to an extremely crowded place and eat really good fish & chips that for some reason have fresh oysters as a side dish on a table that I somehow found amidst the thick crowd
I sit and look at all the people and ponder for a while. It is 6.15, but I dont realise it. I walk around vivo for what appears to me to be a long time, but only 15 minutes have passed. At the end of this journey, I chance upon a watch shop where I finally find a pocketwatch that I immediately buy. It is very well-designed and the colours go together perfectly.
I go to the lower floors and have oily chive-fritters as a snack as I walk around

I go home
someone I have a crush on is online, and we have a l
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
ong conversation wherein we share lots of things
I am suddenly brilliant at being funny, yet dont appear too playful

we go offline
it is 8pm
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
The afternoon is over, and I go down to the field to finally watch the sunset that I have been waiting for the time to watch for years
the sunset is beautiful, and the clouds accentuate its beauty instead of obstructing it
no trees or buildings are in the way
the sun is down
it is nighttime
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
I lie in the grass
the bugs crawl around and on me, but they never go near worrying places
I close my eyes

VERY BRIEF INTERLUDE.
VERY BRIEF.
MOVING ON TO "PERFECT NIGHT".

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
9.30, I awake
the night sky stares back at me, I stare back and ponder for hours. At least it seemed like hours; only 10 minutes have passed. I go home and have a banana. I go toilet. For some reason I knew that what came out was my breakfast. Only the fish and chips and bananas are in my system! I feel light and start pouncing around. I realise I am thirsty, and get a huge bottle of water. I go cycling, with bottle attached to bike. I dont know where I'm going, but the wind gusts through me wherever I ride
and the night is cool
no cars are on the roads, save the occassional bus or two.
It is now 10.40
I chance upon a huge garden-like forest that lies under great trees which create the illusion of a canopy-like ceiling. All shades of the colours green and brown are held within it, and every once in a while Pink, Blue, Red, Yellow and orange show themselves in many different shades
everything is lit perfectly by strategically placed lamps, and I remember that I have brought along a camera with me.
Every photograph taken appears to be taken as if mother nature herself posed for them, e
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
each of them are almost completely different from the other, even though the objects depicted are neighbours in real life
such is the variety that lies within the forest
I decide to leave, and I find my way back home
I memorise the trip back to the forest/canopy as I cycle back

the thought of going back another day makes me feel happy
I go home, it is now 11.30
I have finished my bottle of water
I shut down the computer
I drink lots of cold, sweet fruit juice as I find a book to read
it is 11.50
A cup lies beside my bed, containing juice
I lie sideways on the bed, reading the book
without knowing it, the last sip I take from the cup before I sleep leaves no juice in the cup
meaning I had chosen the correct amount to fill the cup with. awesome
I stop reading and turn so that I now lie on my back
the blanket covers me to half of my stomach
all mosquitoes in my vicinity die
I close my eyes and lie flat
It is 12.00am
I sleep


And there ya have it.
Oh, hold on.

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
i'd like to add that
whenever I shower on my perfect day
my towel smells like baby


Yep, that's it.


Now, here's a teeny list I typed out to show Cynthia I'm not THAT indicisive/wishy washy.

X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
I dont like the naggy feeling that I could be doing something else when I'm wasting time somewhere, I dont like unfair treatment/uneccessary bad treatment, I dont like deadlines (^_^), I dont like stage nervousness, I dont like tight shirts, I dont like broken pencials, I dont like pens that still have lots of ink inside but for some reason cant work, I like my desk, I like making things to serve a need, I dont like the fact that most of my childhood toys were given away without my permission, I like rings, I like stones, I sometimes like picking interesting-looking stuff off the ground in the hopes that I will make some use of it someday in the future, I like doing well in subjects except for English, I dont like the way mandarin is taught in class, I like smooth penx/pencils
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
I like when I type unexpectedly fast (not now, but... when it DOES happen)
I dont like my unseemingly grubby keyboard
Chloe says:
ooooohhhh
Chloe says:
bravo
Chloe says:
zan zan lexi lex
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
*applause*
Chloe says:
can like or not like things
Chloe says:
i like
X - toot toooot tooooooooooot says:
T__T





Okay, no more msn transcripts.
Gosh, my hand smells like mango. I peeled and ate one earlier. Ate it like an apple/tomato/pear. LIKE A REAL FRUIT. Not all diced and cube-ish. Nya.

6 more days.
Actually 5.

k lets see.

1: inside drawings, finish covers
2: finish inside drawings
3: poetry

k. k. Mus faster do


-Zan

Over!

Woot.z.

My CLB composition felt real good, I wrote about two girls that encountered this person whose grandfather fell in a longkang. Girl calls her father, who is a doctor, etc.

CLB paper 2 wasnt that nice. Quite a lot of tikams. At least I had a moderate amount of answers that were same as Van's.

Van brought me to the mrt via cab, and thus she was the last student I saw in school.
Last outram uniform other than mine that I saw today belonged to David Gammon (he was in Harbourfront mrt.)

It's finally over!
And now I gotsta get started on stuff. I feel free, fresh. And the rain helped this feeling too.

Got myself organic oaten biscuits again. And organic milk, too. For the organic cereal. ^^
The milk tastes creamy.

Yah, not an organised post.
Time to exercise and study physics!


-Zan

Haireye

Eurgh, woke up to an eyelash stuck on the surface of my left eye.
AGAIN.
(This is like the 4th time)

But today's was special. Oh yes. Today I had the luck of actually prying it out of the bottom lid with a fingernail.
(Usually it slips through the edge of my eye)

LOVELY.
grumblegrumblegrumble

>: c

Okay, now to continue the day.

<: )


-Zan

Vulgarity

****

I need somebody to explain to me why they consider certain words offensive, even when used without context. Why the very sound of the word provokes disapproval, though there is no difference between hearing it in your ears and hearing it in your head. Censor if you want, but the word is still in there. And I think it is the message that should provoke offense, not the individual words used to compose that message.

****

-Zan

Chain chain chain.

I'd like to type about the chain letters that depict the dramatic and very, very sad deaths/sufferings of children and people.

In particular, the ones that end with "The X corporation has agreed to donate $1 to help Lucy get her leg back for every email address this is forwarded to. Please keep the message going!
"

Where is the morality in donating money on a condition? "I will only donate if I see a list of emails".
It just sounds a little unbelievable to me. And how does the starter of the email expect to get the huge list of emails back? Is she/he / he/she waiting for the email to weave its way through all of the worlds population to get back to that person?
I mean, by the time that happens, the cause is probably lost. Little Charlie who needed the operation money from that email would have been gone by then.

And that is why I don't believe that particular class of chain email.


-Zan

AAAAAAAAhhhhh. Shaet

I just saw this whilst blogsurfing (going to link pages on blogs and going to the link pages of the blogs on those link pages, etc):

its so unpredictable! i mean like, everthing's based on results here. students hardly have a life here -.- books, books, books, tests, exams. screw it lah!

Some may recognise this. If so, then.. you good lor. (idunno)

Anyways. That last line left a bit of an impact on meh. especially since I'm just realising that school is coming back reeeally soon, and it's time to make that last-minute rush for homework. The last minute rush, of course, brought me the 'being a student' feeling back. This, combined with 'screw it lah!' got me dreaming..

.. is it really necessary to do all this studying to get a good job to sustain meself and then work and work and work till retirement?
Should I join the ranks of the majority, and leave times of freedom to 1: Childhood and 2: post-retirement?

Why are these periods 'free'? Because both of them are times where, I suppose, money is not an issue. All is provided for.

1: Childhood
-Parents supply money for our life's needs (if they can). Food is paid for. Clothes are paid for. Toys.

2: Retirement
-Same thing, only instead of Parents we have the retirement fund. The only difference is that the amount of money is not an undetermined number (if you ignore loans and borrowing money); it's not a number that the parents constantly add to; it has a limit. And what you allow yourself to do all comes from the amount you make when working. In a way, you now parent yourself.

So where am I RIGHT NOW?

Parents still are supplying, so freephase 1 isn't completely over yet but school is preparing me for that working 'period' of my life. I am preparing me. Meaning that... what I'm doing now is all working up to the day when freephase 2 starts, and how well I work now will determine how much I get to do in phase 2.

Life: Work done = Opportunity + Freedom

BUT
This is a little closed-minded.
In that working mid-phase between 1 & 2, there is bound to be a little fun had, a little time not spent on work.
Here, a great tip lies: Do work that you love doing.
This way, you are not just working for money, but working to work. You love it, and rest is merely rest away from enjoyment. Life in the mid-phase is no longer work + rest/leisure. Now it is enjoyment + rest/leisure. A great cheat to own. And I want it. So..

I must first find what job I'd love.
Because I have no chance at knowing what being in the jobs out there are like (HINT HINT, MOE) I must go by assumption and guessing. Maybe this happens in the job, maybe that happens, etc.

But I don't feel like rambling about that at the mo.
So... complaints!

Sigh. Sigh sigh sigh.
Sai.
How did Life come to this? From days of no technology and no civilisation, all we did was get food, eat, bring up kids. Intelligence was expended on hunting methods.
And then came economy and civilisation. Technology.
With this came jobs and money.
(MONEY.)

And with jobs and money came a different means of living.
No longer were things made just to be made. Systems kept for the good of the people. We all sold out.

I mean look at the 'ole aboriginal peoples of the world! The indigenous peoples! The way they live really exhibits that they're all 'one big family'. They work together for the community as a whole. Not just for themselves and their spouses. They went to get food for everyone in the hunting groups! Just because! And this kept them healthy too. Kept them moving. Fun was had!

Sigh sigh sigh.

But I am born here, where this is no such way of life.
Respectable work requires more of the brain (and technology) and less of the body around these parts.
But there's no way any country like this would want to go back to such times. Reputation and all. Need to be seen as a high tech country.
Sheeeeeyit.
Aiyah, nothing more oredy.



-Zan

Read more >> Options >>

grumble

Kay, I take responsibility for not passing in the O level fee money yesterday. Yesterday, which apparently was the DEADLINE.

So big rush today la.

But I still will complain about the inadequacy of my form teacher.
My Form Teacher (MFT) did not enforce the fact that IF WE DID NOT HAND THIS MONEY IN, WE WOULD NOT TAKE OUR O LEVELS THIS YEAR.

She even gave the students that hadn't given the money up a paper, telling them to do so that Wednesday. Clearly either she was not informed of the deadline's importance, or was and did not recognise it to be as deadly as it truly was.

And a couple of backup systems could have been organised by the school as well:

1: Paying for the students if the students are too late and writing the amount off as a loan that the student then owes the school. This would display precautionary planning.

2: Have the FT demand the hell out of the students. If the student did not pay it on the last day, the FT should be forcing him/her to get out of the school and get that money. Yes, students do need to be pushed sometimes. We may not be primary students, but we are certainly not yet adults. And even adults forget.

3: Public announcement system! Have someone announce the last day in a booming voice to the ears of the school. as if a paper stuck on the class board is enough. The BACK of the class, no less. T_T


And there you go.


-Zan

Weehee

So POA is ending, and I'm in the greatest rush to finish my dang work. But already our SS teacher is making his way in, so (still in my rushed mindset) I stuff the PA papers under the table and get on with the newly-assigned SS work.

I'm still feeling all rushed, so while doing SS I feel all "MUST. FINISH THIS. NOW."



but.



Inbetween my writings, X keeps popping his voice in my ears to tell me about some extremely fascinating joke or comment. I have to give some response, and keep cool about it. But he keeps going on.

And now, while I'm at 60% irritability, D and C start talking and joking between themselves. This is normal, and I realised later on that completing the work was not as important as I was thinking it was.
I decide that the environment is not suitable for my flustered self, and I request a toilet break. Instead I go do my work at the benches for a few minutes.
I come back to stay, and get my SS book from the cupboard.
As I place my book on my desk and take my hands off of it for JUST A SECOND to adjust my chair, Assholiholio The Smug (OF COURSE) proceeds to bloody take it. By his own damn permission.
80% irritable, and rising.
Then D asks me harmless qns, and the occassional telling-me-something-I-must-know, to which I reply by sending him an acronym to be deciphered by him. I figure this will give me time to do my work.
(The acronym, which represented the words in my head at the time, was AMIIC. It means Ask Me If I Care, and I will admit that my anger was misplaced on D. It should have been somewhere else. Sorry D.)
Eventually C finds I'm flustered, but I refuse to show what it is that made me so. Again I deny him the right to confirm his assumptions of myself.
I hate these people, ARHVDBFJHSDV



ANYWAYS.
What you see above is something that occurred last week in class. It shows me at one of my lousier times.
To the updates:

I'm finding myself unable to answer why I want to live, and the only thing that keeps me going, perhaps, is experience. But even that I am doubting.

I also find that I constantly am fantasizing for everything I know of to be smashed and destroyed by a meteorite. School, home, people-I-Know, the system. The world I live in needs a reform.

-Zan